Monday, September 24, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week's sports shorts.
American skier Bode Miller has vowed to avoid alcohol all year long. It’s still unclear if his decision is intended to boost his athletic performance or if Miller was simply tired of going home at 2 with a 10 and waking up at 10 with a 2.

The NBA plans to announce the formation of a Chinese subsidiary. The new league promises to be the only basketball organization in the world where the fans are actually taller than the players.

The Houston Rockets have finally come to terms with Dikembe Mutombo, making him the oldest player in the league. In fact, Mutombo is so ancient that his first basketball card was printed in hieroglyphics.

Eagles signal caller Donovan McNabb has said that black quarterbacks face greater scrutiny from fans than their white counterparts. Tim Couch could not be reached for comment.

Six University of Texas football players have now been arrested since June. Who do these guys think they are, the Bengals?

Rockets center Yao Ming will miss the team's media day and first two days of practice to appear at the Special Olympics in Shanghai. Wow. I always just assumed that he had a heavy accent.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now marketing their very own brand of hot sauce. Unlike the team itself, the product can still be enjoyed beyond June.

The Giants recently dedicated a mural celebrating the team's history in San Francisco. The 10 foot by 70 foot design is now believed to be the second largest thing in AT&T Park next to Barry Bonds’ head.