Monday, July 23, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s sports shorts.

Tony Gwynn is the latest athlete to have his image placed on a Wheaties box. It’s believed to be the first time that the cereal’s spokesmodel will have a higher fat content than the cereal itself.

John Salley, Charissa Thompson and Rob Dibble are heading to Hot Springs, Arkansas for a special taping of the Best Damn Sports Show Period. Not only will it be the first time many locals will get to meet a celebrity, it will also be the first time they’ll get to meet someone with a full set of teeth.

Detroit Pistons forward Rasheed Wallace was spotted at Saturday's fight between Winky Wright and Bernard Hopkins. It’s believed to be the first time he’s witnessed a fight without joining into the fray.

Seattle Supersonics forward Kevin Durant has inked a lucrative endorsement deal with Upper Deck. It’s a natural fit since the company’s trading cards are nearly as one-dimensional as he is.

Stephon Marbury has expressed interest in playing in Italy. What a great idea. I’ve never been convinced that English was his first language anyhow.

The FBI is investigating Tim Donaghy, an NBA referee who allegedly bet on basketball games. The scandal goes a long way in explaining how the Knicks managed to win more than 10 games.

Former world champion pole vaulter Giuseppe Gibilisco has been banned for two years for his alleged role in a doping case. Something tells us he’ll eventually rise above his detractors.

Dallas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban defended the NBA’s integrity on one of his recent blogs. The incident is believed to represent the first time that the words Mark Cuban and integrity have been uttered in the same sentence.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman is expected to recommend to the Board of Governors that the league expand by two teams. That’s wonderful news for the residents of Chicago who have been waiting for a professional team for more than a decade.