Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Viagra has signed on to become a sponsor of the NHL, which makes sense because if you’ve ever had an erection that lasted for three days, then you know the value of putting it on ice.
Tom Brady is rumored to have proposed to his girlfriend Gisele Bundchen on Christmas Eve. It’s nice to hear that at least one Patriot will be getting a ring this year.
The Utah Jazz have announced that forward Carlos Boozer will undergo arthroscopic knee surgery. A boozer hasn’t made this many headlines since the last time John Daly passed out at Hooters.
The Houston Rockets have re-acquired Dikembe Mutumbo. The veteran center has been signed for the remainder of the season or until his old age pension kicks in, whichever comes first.
Houston has fired three coaches including Defensive coordinator Richard Smith. The last time this many Texans were axed, Davy Crockett was present.
Randy Johnson has signed a one-year contract with the Giants. He’s expected to attract a huge fan base since San Francisco men are known to have an affinity for big units.
The New York Yankees have signed back-up catcher Kevin Cash. It’s the first time in years the Yankees have acquired cash rather than throwing it away.
The Mets are reportedly uninterested in signing Andruw Jones, which is a shame, because if he puts on any more weight he should be able to cover all three outfield positions without even moving.
Lance Armstrong has revealed that he and his girlfriend, Anna Hansen, are expecting a baby in June. The announcement means that Pacman Jones is now just the second hardest working nut in sports.