Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Shaquille O’Neal will miss the playoffs for the first time since 1993. Judging by his current weight that’s also the last time he missed a meal.
Renovations to Wrigley Field have been temporarily stalled. Luckily the Cubs should have plenty of time to work on the stadium in October when it’s completely vacant.
The San Diego Padres are now offering fans a special hot dog wrapped in bacon, stuffed with onions, tomatoes, and pinto beans, and served on a potato bun smothered in mayonnaise and jalapeno sauce. It’s the perfect snack for fans who love hot dogs but don’t want to live to see the seventh inning.
Ricky Rubio’s family is reportedly in favor of him entering the NBA draft this year. Obviously Ricky Rubio’s family has never seen the Sacramento Kings.
Darko Milicic has said he would like to play in Greece... or anywhere else where fans don't know he was picked ahead of Carmelo Anthony and Dwayne Wade.
Many Scots are turning to a brand new sport called Extreme Sheepherding. Of course, the truly extreme part is what they do to the sheep once they actually catch them.
The Columbus Blue Jackets are going to the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. Both of the team’s fans are delighted.
Andrew Bynum had 16 points in his return with the Lakers. The last time he scored that easily was at the Playboy Mansion.
St. Louis ace Chris Carpenter threw a one-hitter in a dazzling start against Pittsburgh. And just like that, the Pirates have used up all of their hits for the season.
Five Chinese swimmers have been banned two years each for doping with a powerful horse drug. When asked for a comment, all five swimmers responded "Neigh."
Boston University staged a miracle rally by scoring two goals in the final minute to win the NCAA Hockey Championship. Of course, the real miracle is that we're even discussing college hockey.
Roger Federer recently married longtime girlfriend Mirka Vavrinec. It's a risky proposition since love means nothing to him.