Monday, September 21, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Houston Texans cornerback Dunta Robinson has been fined $25,000 by the team for writing a message on his shoes. $1,000 was for the content of the message and $24,000 was for being too stupid to know about Twitter.

Desmond Mason has received a one-year deal with the Sacramento Kings… although we’re sure it will feel like five.

A 73-year-old waiter is suing the Yankees claiming he was replaced by a younger worker with a smaller salary. Come on, when have the Yankees ever tried to get younger?

Lamar Odom is planning on marrying Khloe Kardashian. Surely there has to be an easier way of getting a reality show than that.

Recovering alcoholic Theo Fleury scored the winning goal in his first NHL game in six years. It’s amazing how much easier hockey becomes when you see one net rather than three.

The Hooters Swimsuit Pageant took place this weekend in Ft. Lauderdale. We haven’t seen that many big boobs together since the last time the Mets took the field.

Cleveland guard Delonte West was arrested after officers pulled him over for speeding on a motorcycle while carrying two loaded handguns and a loaded shotgun. This probably isn’t what the Cavs had in mind when they asked him to improve his shooting in the off season.

Roger Clemens has taken to posting on Twitter to stay in touch with his fans. Both of them.

Chad Ochocinco leapt into the crowd at Lambeau Stadium after scoring a touchdown against the Packers. Morticians are hoping to piece together his remains shortly.

HBO plans to retool Joe Buck’s talk show. No word yet on which tool will replace him.

Backup QG Jeff Garcia is back in the NFL. And more importantly, so is his wife.

A Russian billionaire is interested in buying the New Jersey Nets. Apparently he’s also interested in becoming a Russian millionaire.