Monday, September 14, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Tony Gonzalez has become the 21st player in NFL history with 11,000 yards receiving. In all fairness, 10,000 of those yards came against the Lions.

Donovan McNabb has a broken rib. And here’s the real surprise; Michael Vick wasn’t the one who broke it.

The Minnesota Vikings have named Brett Favre a team captain. That’s certainly a lot nicer than what the Green Bay packers have named him.

Ben Roethlisberger’s accuser is demanding a list of every single woman he has ever had sex with. Given his spotty history, Roethlisberger might just want to provide her with the Pittsburgh phonebook.

Allen Iverson has said that his decision to join the Memphis Grizzlies was based upon a message from God. Luckily for him, God didn’t say anything about having to share the ball with Zach Randolph.

The New Jersey Nets recently unveiled a revamped design for their new arena in Brooklyn. The state of the art facility will have glass walls, a public plaza and ample seating for all seven of the team’s fans.

The IAAF has confirmed that South African runner Caster Semenya has male and female sex organs. On the positive side, her chances of getting a date on Saturday night have now doubled.

Kansas City starters Gil Meche and Brian Bannister are likely done for the rest of the season. The Royals did not disclose the exact nature of their injuries since nobody cared enough to ask.

Adrian Peterson was pumped full of emergency fluids following the second quarter of Minnesota’s game against Cleveland. Apparently Matt Leinart isn’t the only one who drinks during halftime.

Ryne Sandberg has expressed interest in becoming the Cubs’ next manager. Well, you have to start somewhere.