Question of the Week

Benjamin, Chandler, AZ
Subj: Take your base!
Who owns the modern day record for being hit by the most pitches?

That honor belongs to Houston Astros second sacker Craig Biggio. The frequently bruised gamer has been plunked 285 times in 20 seasons, making him the most popular target in Major League history. "If you would have told me a 185-pound man would get hit 250-plus times in his career and still be walking, I'd say you're crazy,” he admits. “I've been lucky, I guess." So why doesn’t this former catcher back off from the inner part of the plate? "I get in that box, and I'm not thinking about moving because if I have to think about moving, I can't hit like I want to hit," he explains. Incidentally, four players have been hit by a pitch twice in the same inning including Brady Anderson, Willard Schmidt, Frank Thomas and Andres Galarraga.

Ask Ryan - Now With 0% Fat!

Hi Gang,

Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment co-mingle like a pair of sweaty teens at a make-out party. This week's mailbag is overflowing with queries about eye-gouging, Craig Biggio's painful claim to fame and ways to improve the Tour de France. Read all about it at: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7059850

Minute Man

In addition to writing Ask Ryan I'm also a regular contributor to The National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So), a weekly short that mocks everything sport. Created by Steve Hofstetter and written by a staff of comedians, the Minute is syndicated weekly by 162 radio stations, 29 newspapers, and 15 websites. Here's the first of my many weekly musings:

Roger Federer won his 50th straight match on grass. Sadly, he missed out on the award ceremony afterwards due to an overwhelming case of the munchies.

A couple in England have given their newborn daughter 25 middle names, each the last name of a former boxing champion. It’s believed to be the first time that the birth certificate will weigh more than the baby itself.

A group of New York Yankees went to visit injured Iraq war veterans at Walter Reed Army Medical Center. The players who went included Ron Villone and Andy Pettitte, both of whom know a thing or two about getting shelled.

The NFL has folded its development league in Europe after 16 years. No word yet on how the football crazy fans of Estonia are going to cope.

Craig Biggio has become the 27th major leaguer with 3,000 hits. It’s just a shame it took him nearly 3,000 years to accomplish the feat.

A beachside guest house owned by Tiger Woods was destroyed by lightning. We always suspected God liked Phil Mickelson more.

Struggling Yankees reliever Scott Proctor tried to improve his fortunes by setting his personal game equipment on fire. No word yet on whether the Yankees will consider doing the same thing to Johnny Damon.

The Philadelphia Flyers have agreed to a $52 million contract with free agent forward Daniel Briere. Now all they have to do is sell the franchise three times in order to pay his salary.

You can learn more about The Minute by visiting http://www.minuteorso.com/