Showing posts with label phil jackson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label phil jackson. Show all posts

Monday, June 15, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Phil Jackson has surpassed Red Auerbach with his 10th NBA title. In Auerbach’s defense, he really hasn’t been himself since 2006.

Los Angeles police say five officers were hit by debris following the Lakers' championship victory. Say what you will about L.A.’s other team, but at least no one has ever been injured in a Clippers victory parade.

The WNBA is marketing its upcoming season with the slogan “Expect Great.” The phrase replaces their previous tagline of “Expect Empty Seats.”

Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has reportedly lost 20 pounds. And that’s just from talking.

John Daly claims to have lost 40 pounds. It’s incredible how slim you can get when you consistently sleep through breakfast.

A Seattle Little League coach has been charged with second-degree burglary after he broke into a vacant store with three of his players and stole lights and bolts. In his defense, he was simply trying to teach his team the nuances of the double steal.

Former Utah center Greg Ostertag is trying to figure out how to get back in the NBA. At this stage in his career he might want to try buying a ticket.

NBA official Tim Donaghy was recently attacked in prison by a fellow inmate. Sounds like he really could have used a ref to break things up.

Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf plans to surrender on drug and burglary charges in Texas. After all, if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s giving up.

The Philadelphia Eagles plan to reward Donovan McNabb with a big raise. Of course, if they really wanted to reward him they’d have someone kick Terrell Owens in the nuts.

Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose has said he used "extremely poor judgment" in posing for a photo flashing a gang sign. Actually that’s just bad judgment. Extremely bad judgment would be signing a contract with the Los Angeles Clippers.

UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun recently fell and broke five ribs during a charity bike ride. It’s the biggest collapse he’s experienced since last March.

Monday, April 27, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

President Barack Obama recently played a round of golf for the first time since taking office. It's nice to know that John McCain isn't the only white thing he's capable of knocking around.

Flip Saunders has received a four-year, $18 million contract with the Washington Wizards. $2 million is for coaching the team and $16 million is for dealing with Gilbert Arenas.

Commissioner Roger Goodell says Michael Vick has to show genuine regret in order to return to the NFL. In other words, he simply has to act like a Detroit Lions season ticket holder.

Majestic Athletic company has apologized for supplying Washington with jerseys reading "Natinals." On the positive side, the team can easily rectify the problem by borrowing a couple of o’s from their win column.

Phil Jackson has spliced clips of the movie Miracle at St. Anna into Lakers video sessions as part of his attempt to add a certain theme to every playoff series. Evidentially the theme of this year’s playoffs is horrible movies.

Former Jacksonville Jaguars star Jimmy Smith was arrested with crack cocaine and marijuana in his car. The 40-year-old vet played wide receiver for 10 seasons in the NFL, but is now expected to be just another tight end in prison.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has said he doesn’t believe in Twitter or MySpace. That’s understandable since many of his fans also don’t believe in the Big Bang or evolution.

Thousands of grasshoppers recently descended on Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Sadly, it’s one of the first times all season the stadium has actually looked full.

A 12-year-old girl from New Jersey recently threw a perfect game against a group of boys. Then again, it was the Nationals.

The Jacksonville Jaguars have introduced new team uniforms, because if you're going to lose 12 games you might as well look good doing it.

Alex Rodriguez has said he expects to see action next week. No word yet on whether it will be on a baseball diamond.