Monday, January 21, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week's Sports Shorts.

Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers is the star of a new video for the Pure Love Club, an organization that advocates saving one's self for marriage. It’s an unusual affiliation for a guy who spends so much of his time flat on his back.

NCAA Division II delegates have approved a pilot program allowing Canadian schools to apply for membership as soon as June 1. The new division will henceforth be known as the NC-Eh-Eh.

NASCAR is considering raising the minimum age for drivers in the Sprint Cup Series from 18 to 21. It’s hoped the new age restriction will produce a much more mature and professional class of rednecks.

Knicks guard Stephon Marbury is scheduled to go under the knife for season-ending surgery. Unfortunately the surgery will be on his left ankle and not his brain.

Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has said that he wants to go back to college to get his degree when he's done playing. That’s just what Jeter needs - another place to meet women.

Bobby Knight has become the first men's Division I coach to reach 900 victories. It’s an impressive milestone for a man who has often seemed more interested in throttling his players than in coaching them.

Bulls rookie JamesOn Curry was arrested and charged with misdemeanor counts of urinating in public. When asked for a reaction, Curry freely admitted that he was pissed off. Luckily the incident happened in Boise, so it actually improved the smell of the city.

New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick has said he supports wide receiver Randy Moss in the wake of damaging battery allegations. In fact, Belichick even has the tapes to prove he’s innocent.

Golfweek has fired its longtime editor Dave Seanor after he placed an image of a noose on the magazine’s cover. Apparently lynching him wasn’t an option. All things considered, it’s still much more tasteful than a topless photo of John Daly.

Former chess master Bobby Fisher has died at the age of 64. This is one move fellow competitors never saw coming.

Washington Wizards center Etan Thomas said he hopes to return from open heart surgery this season. God knows, he certainly wouldn’t be the only NBA player out there with an enlarged organ.

Dan Marino's cell phone went off twice on CBS' Sprint Halftime Report. Incidentally, that’s two more phone calls than FOX’s Terry Bradshaw got all month.