Monday, July 21, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Stephon Marbury has gotten a tattoo of his sneaker logo on his left temple. It’s nice to hear that he’s finally found a use for his head.

A baseball cap worn by Yankees slugger Babe Ruth has been auctioned for a record $328,000 on Monday. There was no need to authenticate the hat since it clearly smelled like mustard and bourbon.

Lance Armstrong has extended an invitation to Senator John McCain to join his charitable foundation. After all, who better to join the LIVESTRONG movement than a man who’s believed to be 800 years old?

Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig told reporters that the league is looking closely at instant replay. In related news, Major League Baseball commissioner Bud Selig told reporters that the league is looking closely at instant replay.

Double-amputee sprinter Oscar Pistorius fell short of the 400-meter qualifying time he needed Wednesday to make the Olympics. Ironically Pistorius appeared to be in great shape until the last two legs of the race.

Three spectators at the Tour de France were taken to a hospital after being hit by a team car close to the finish line of the 11th stage. If you think they’re upset just imagine how angry the cyclists were after finding out they could have been in a car all along.

Dolphins quarterback Josh McCown needed six stitches on the index finger of his throwing hand after mishandling a chainsaw. On the positive side, the six-year journeyman has had plenty of practice getting cut.

Ricky Williams is drawing rave reviews with the Miami Dolphins. In fact, the entire team seems to be high on him.

Marcus Camby says he feels “blindsided, distraught and disrespected” following his trade to Los Angeles. His admission comes as a surprise to the Clippers who thought they traded for a center, not a thesaurus.

Congress may get involved in the NBA’s Tim Donaghy scandal. After all, if there’s one thing congress knows about, it’s lying and cheating.

Oklahoma City's new franchise will be called the Thunder. It’s the perfect name for a team that will never be seen.

Detroit handed Baltimore their 15th consecutive Sunday loss yesterday. Note to the Orioles, when God said Sunday was a day of rest he wasn’t referring to baseball.

Detroit Tigers pitcher Fernando Rodney recently received his first haircut in more than three years. It’s nice to hear about a baseball player whose head is actually getting smaller.