Wednesday, August 19, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Nate Robinson was arrested for driving without a license. As if that weren’t bad enough, the arresting officers also confiscated the three phone books he was sitting on.

Washington is trying to lower expectations for hard-throwing pitcher Stephen Strasburg. That shouldn’t be a problem since the Nationals and lowered expectations have always gone hand in hand.

The Sacramento Kings have promised Sean May $100,000 if he shows up to training camp weighing 265 pounds or less. Now comes the hard part: deciding whether to cut off his right leg or his left leg.

Stephon Marbury was recently spotted on film smoking weed. Then again, maybe that was just his career that was going up in smoke.

Kentucky Derby winner Mine That Bird is scheduled to undergo minor throat surgery. Apparently he was feeling a little hoarse.

Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett have decided to name their son Hank Baskett IV. The couple failed to explain why they’re naming him after a piece of medical equipment.

Quentin Richardson has been traded for the fourth time this off-season. On the positive side, he now has enough frequent flyer miles to circle the Moon.

The Phoenix Suns have signed forward Taylor Griffin. Right idea, wrong Griffin.

Oakland Raiders head coach Tom Cable allegedly had a violent physical altercation with defensive assistant Randy Hanson during a staff meeting. You know your team’s in trouble when your head coach is also your hardest hitter.

Monica Seles has released her first autobiography. It’s nice to hear she’s taking a stab at a new career.