Monday, November 2, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Bud Selig says he’s happy that Mark McGwire is returning to baseball. He’d be even happier if Milton Bradley wasn’t.

Meb Keflezighi has become the first American to win the New York City Marathon in 27 years. If you had a name like Meb Keflezighi you’d probably be good at outrunning people too.

The IOC is upset with Greece’s decision to let a runner serving a doping ban take part in the Vancouver flame relay. On the positive side, his one mile segment should be over in well under two minutes.

Redskins tight end Chris Cooley recently had three screws placed inside his tibia. It’s nice to hear that Washington sport fans aren’t the only ones getting screwed.

Giants running back Ahmad Bradshaw will continue to play this season despite having a cracked bone in his foot. In related news, Terry Bradshaw will continue appearing on Fox despite being legally dead above the neck.

Rudy Gay has said the odds of him signing a contract extension are at 50-50. Oddly enough, those are the same odds an Internet search of his name will bring you to a gay porn site.

Nate Robinson could be sidelined for two weeks after spraining his right ankle. Luckily the Knicks should have no problem losing without him.

PGA Tour officials have canceled the Viking Classic because of soggy course conditions. Vikings everywhere are rolling over in their graves.

Cole Hamels, last year's World Series MVP, is 1-2 with a 7.58 ERA in 4 starts this postseason. On the positive side, he could still become the World Series MVP for the Yankees.

Bobby Knight has declined an invitation to attend his induction into the Indiana University Hall of Fame. Organizers had already reserved two seats for him: one to sit in and one to throw.