Monday, November 9, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

120 Major League Baseball players have now filed for free agency. The group includes 45 pitchers, 33 infielders and 27 of Alyssa Milano’s exes.

New York office workers reportedly tossed files and documents out windows during the Yankees victory parade. It’s a marked improvement from earlier this year when they were tossing out themselves.

San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum is facing misdemeanor charges after a state trooper approached his Mercedes and smelled marijuana. It turns out Lincecum was a little high and inside.

The Mets plan to part ways with closer J.J. Putz. Fortunately they still have plenty of other putzes in their lineup.

Allen Iverson has taken an indefinite leave from the Memphis Grizzlies… just like most of the team’s fans.

A government official has been fired for giving the Calgary Flames flu shots while thousands of people waited in line. There hasn’t been this much interest over a bunch of little pricks since the New Kids on the Block reunited.

Hall of Famer Nancy Lieberman has become the first woman to coach in the NBA Development League. It’s nice to know women are now just as capable of getting undesirable jobs as men.

Redskins owner Dan Snyder recently told reporters that the team is letting everybody down. On the positive side, they’re doing a fabulous job preparing Washington sports fans for another season of the Nationals.

Victor Zambrano's mother has been kidnapped in Venezuela. If her personality is as disagreeable as her son’s we’re sure her abductors will return her soon.

Tony Parker is expected to miss a week with a sprained left ankle. The veteran point guard was injured when an overzealous Manu Ginobili swatted him out of the sky.

Navy is still riding high after defeating Notre Dame 23-21. The Midshipmen haven’t enjoyed a victory this big since storming the beaches of Normandy.