Shawn, Baton Rouge, LA
Subj: Hardwood heroes
If you had to select a starting five of fictional movie basketball players, who would you pick?
Superb question Shawn! After hours of careful deliberation I’ve managed to select a dream team of five fictional ballers. Some of their movies may have stunk more than a beer and bratwurst fart but there’s simply no arguing with their skills on the hardwood.
PG - Calvin Cambridge (Bow Wow - Like Mike) So what if he’s smaller than Spud Webb’s jockstrap? Calvin Cambridge is pound-for-pound the finest basketball player on the planet.
SG - Jesus Shuttleworth (Ray Allen – He Got Game) One of the most heavily recruited players in college history, Jesus has an inside-out game that’s smoother than a Barry White pick-up line.
SF - Jimmy Chitwood (Maris Valainis - Hoosiers) The finest pure shooter to ever handle the rock, Chitwood’s range extends to a good ten feet outside any gymnasium.
PF - Scott Howard (Michael J. Fox - Teen Wolf) Imagine if Karl Malone and Big Foot had a love child and you’d have Scott Howard, a hairer-than-thou beast capable of reducing foes to shivering wrecks. Granted, his hairballs are an issue, but every superstar has his quirks.
C - Neon (Shaquille O’Neal - Blue Chips) Every team needs a fierce inside presence, which is why I’ve chosen Neon, a 7’1 man child with an unstoppable back-to-the-basket game. If Shaq was even half as mobile as his onscreen alter ego the Cavs would be undefeated.