Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Larry Brown has reportedly been texting Allen Iverson. We’re not sure what more surprising: the fact that Allen Iverson knows how to read or the fact that Larry Brown knows how to operate technology made after 1943.
The Knicks have decided to pass on signing Allen Iverson. Their decision marks the first time in years the words “Allen Iverson” and “pass” have been uttered in the same sentence.
Tennessee has dismissed two freshmen football players charged in an attempted armed robbery. What a shame: if they went to Miami they would have gotten a credit for it.
Dennis Rodman has been detained in Germany after a hotel said he skipped out on a $5,000 bill. That’s nothing: Rodman used to spend that much just on dress alterations.
Miami believes it’s found a way to lure LeBron James and Chris Bosh to the Heat. It’s called “a miracle.”
Zack Greinke has been named the American League’s CY Young Award winner. The Royals plan to celebrate his victory by quitting while they’re ahead.
Broncos coach Josh McDaniels recently referred to Jim Zorn as coach of the Chargers. It’s an understandable mistake since Zorn has just as much say in both team’s offenses.
Eagles running back Brian Westbrook plans to visit two concussion specialists in Pittsburgh… or New York. Frankly he can’t remember which.
The Warriors are interested in trading Monta Ellis. Don Nelson is even willing to throw in a moped to sweeten the deal.
The Nets are now 0-11. Things haven’t been this bleak in New Jersey since, well, every day.