Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
David Stern has suspended Gilbert Arenas without pay, saying the Wizards guard is "not currently fit to take the court." Neither is Glen Davis, but the Celtics still let him play.
Gilbert Arenas has accused David Stern of being “mean.” The rest of the NBA has accused Gilbert Arenas of being a horrible trash talker.
Roberto Alomar came within ten votes of being elected into the Hall of Fame. It must be frustrating knowing he was within spitting distance.
The Washington Nationals have signed reliever Matt Capps. The club can barely wait to misspell his name on the backs of thousands of jerseys.
Matt Holliday has agreed to a seven-year, $120 million deal with the Cardinals. That’s not bad for a man who’s best remembered for trying to catch a fly ball with his nuts.
The Kansas City Chiefs are reportedly interested in Charlie Weis. It’s nice to know that at least one team no longer checks references.
Domino’s CEO David Brandon has been named the new athletic director at the University of Michigan. Apparently Papa John wasn’t available. Brandon plans to make a number of sweeping changes including replacing the hash marks at Michigan Stadium with Cinnastix.
Jimmie Johnson and his wife are expecting their first child. It’s amazing how much you can get done during a pit stop.
The New York Knicks recently rejected Magic Johnson’s request for free tickets. We’re not sure what’s more shocking: the fact that anyone would say no to Magic, or the fact that he actually wanted to watch the Knicks.
Chad Ochocinco says he recently tested out his injured left knee by having sex. In related news, the Cincinnati Bengals offer the best rehab ever.