Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Tiger Woods is reportedly making great strides at a sex rehab facility in Mississippi. In fact, doctors already have reduced him to just nine holes a day.
The Saints beat the Vikings 31-28 in overtime. The game had almost as many twists and turns as a Brett Favre retirement announcement.
NASCAR is relaxing its rules to allow drivers to initiate more contact and reach higher speeds. In other words, they’ll now be allowed to drive just like Lindsay Lohan.
Mets are interested in Chien-Ming Wang. The veteran hurler has everything they look for in a pitcher: superb velocity, excellent command and an uncanny knack for getting injured every three days.
Clay Bennett has agreed to pay former SuperSonics season-ticket holders $1.6 million for removing the team from Seattle. In related news, Bruce Ratner has agreed to pay Nets season-ticket holders $17 million for KEEPING the team in New Jersey.
Glen Davis has been fined $25,000 for swearing at a fan who called him fat. Sadly, Davis was going to use that money to buy breakfast.
Allen Iverson has been named a starter in the NBA All-Star game. It’s an impressive feat considering he’s barely a starter on his own team.
Ron Artest has plantar fasciitis. It could be worse: he could have to spell it.
Major League Baseball has agreed to move a three-game series between the Mets and Marlins to San Juan. Sadly, both teams will be allowed to return once the series is over.
A sports promoter in Georgia is starting a basketball league exclusively for white players. Adam Morrison is thrilled.