Monday, January 4, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

USC is imposing sanctions on its basketball program for violating NCAA rules involving former player O.J. Mayo. The school decided not to punish Mayo directly since playing on the Memphis Grizzlies is punishment enough.

Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton reportedly drew guns on one another in the Wizards' locker room. Luckily for Crittenton, Arenas only takes ill-advised shots on the court.

The Wizards are close to trading Caron Butler and Mike James. In fact, Gilbert Arenas has even offered to pull the trigger on the deal.

Devin Harris estimates that 75 percent of all NBA players have weapons. Ironically only 50 percent of them have jump shots.

AT&T ended its sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods, which is strange, since no one has reached out and touched more people than Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods’ wife has hired a private investigator to examine the extent of his wealth. If she wanted something probed she should have just hired Tiger Woods.

Braylon Edwards has pulled a page out of Joe Namath’s playbook by guaranteeing a Jets win. Up next? A sloppy makeout session with Suzy Kolber.

Blue Jays infielder Edwin Encarnacion was burned in the face during a fireworks mishap. All things considered he still looks far better than Sammy Sosa.

Eddy Curry recently missed practice with a stomach ailment. It’s still unclear which of his five stomachs was bothering him.

The Pacers have given up hope of trying to trade TJ Ford. Apparently the American auto industry isn’t the only group unable to move a Ford these days.