Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Tiger Woods has reportedly entered a sex rehab clinic in Arizona. He’s not addicted to sex; he just went to meet some women who are.
GM has decided to stop loaning Tiger Woods free Cadillac’s. On the positive side, he should be able to hitch a ride from any one of his 57 girlfriends.
Dwight Howard and LeBron James have decided to pull out of the Slam Dunk Contest. We’re amazed: We had no idea NBA players knew HOW to pull out.
Victoria Beckham has undergone breast reduction surgery. It sounds like David Beckham is back to being the biggest boob in the family.
Washington shot only 44 percent in a surprising loss to Detroit. It’s nice to hear the Wizards are shooting blanks for a change.
Nets forward Josh Boone says he would love to stay in New Jersey. Boone later retracted his statement after being informed there are 49 other states in the U.S.
The Baseball Hall of Fame has announced they’re keeping Mark McGwire’s bat in Cooperstown. That’s too bad: we were hoping they’d use it to beat some sense into Jose Canseco.
The Lakers have become the first NBA team to reach 3,000 wins. And to think, all it took was being in the same division as the Clippers.
Major League Baseball plans to discuss the expanded use of instant replay. The news is being celebrated by fans who have always felt baseball wasn’t quite slow enough.
The Florida Marlins are set to visit U.S. military troops in Iraq and Kuwait. It’s the perfect mission for a team that’s used to getting blown out.