Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
Gilbert Arenas has promised to stay away from Washington Wizards games… just like millions of other D.C. basketball fans.
Adidas is considering dropping Gilbert Arenas. On the positive side, he’d be a perfect pitchman for Smith & Wesson.
New reports claim that Gilbert Arenas once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe. Oddly enough, Hallmark actually makes a card for that.
Los Angeles Clippers announcer Michael Smith has pleaded not guilty to stealing $735,000 from a golfing buddy. If convicted, Smith will be forced to continue broadcasting Clippers games for the next 25 years.
Allen Iverson has said he may skip the All-Star game if he’s selected. Apparently someone told him there may be a practice.
Maple Leafs head coach Ron Wilson says he’s "pissed off." You’d be angry too if you had to watch 82 hockey games a year.
An employee of the Philadelphia Eagles has said he’s sorry for spitting on the midfield star at the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium. In retrospect he says he wished he crapped on it instead.
The New Jersey Nets have decided to ban gambling on their flights. Sadly that was the only way their players might have won something this year.
The New Jersey Nets have fallen to a franchise-worst 3-34. Things are so bad fans are no longer even bothering to cut eye holes out of their paper bags.
Stephen Jackson recently compared shooting free-throws to making love to his wife. In related news, Stephen Jackson’s wife has a HUGE hole.