Monday, March 8, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The New Jersey Nets are offering free tax preparation for anyone who comes to a game. It’s an amazing deal if you don’t mind having your taxes prepared by Keyon Dooling.

Michael Jordan reportedly paid $175 million for the Bobcats. That’s just $175 more than the next highest bidder.

A record 52 players were moved at the NHL’s trade deadline. Unfortunately for them none of them were moved to other sports.

The Cubs have signed Cuban defector Juan Yasser Serrano. The 21-year-old must still pass a physical exam, although that shouldn’t be a problem for a man who swam all the way from Cuba to Miami.

The New York Knicks missed all 18 three pointers in a loss to the Nets. If there were such a thing as four pointers they probably would have missed a few of those too.

Rodney Stuckey caused a tremendous stir when he fainted during a game against the Cavs. You’d think by now Pistons fans would be used to dramatic collapses.

Georgetown's leading scorer Austin Freeman has been diagnosed with diabetes. Fortunately his long-term playing career should not be affected since, like most Hoyas, he probably won’t have one.

Zydrunas Ilgauskas is hoping to return to Cleveland. After all, it’s one of the few places in America where a guy who looks like Uncle Fester doesn’t stand out.

Nate Burleson announced on Twitter that he has joined the Detroit Lions. Burleson decided to forgo a press conference because he didn’t want everyone to see him cry.

Dodgers catcher Russell Martin is expected to miss the rest of Spring Training with a pulled groin. Something tells us he won’t miss it very much.