Monday, March 15, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Las Vegas odds makers have chosen the Kansas Jayhawks as 5-2 favorites to win the NCAA Tournament… and 2-1 favorites to beat the New Jersey Nets.

Chad Ochocinco is getting his own reality show in which he'll try to find a girlfriend from a field of 85 women. The show is tentatively titled Who Wants to Marry a Douchebag?

Jake Delhomme has agreed to a two year deal with the Browns. In turn, the Browns have agreed to another two years of abject mediocrity.

The Washington Nationals are currently 0-10. Sounds like they’re already in mid-season form.

Three doctors have cleared Rodney Stuckey for exercise. Given that he plays for the Pistons it’s likely to be an exercise in futility.

Marion Jones has signed to play with the Tulsa Shock. It’s hard to say what’s more disgraceful: being stripped of five medals or playing in the WNBA.

Jose Reyes has been told to refrain from any kind of strenuous athletic activity for 8 weeks. It’s unclear whether that includes baseball.

An engineering professor has determined that headfirst slides are safer than feet first slides. Except in the case of Prince Fielder, where any kind of slide is likely to trigger an earthquake.

The Jets and Giants will flip a quarter for the right to host the first game in their new stadium. Ironically, that’s all the money they have left after building it.

Husky Jets coach Rex Ryan has undergone lap-band surgery to help him fight obesity. It was either that or staple his lips shut.

A new survey suggests the odds a man will attend a WNBA game this year are 1 in 168.2. However, the odds that he’ll do so willingly are 1 in 50 million.