Monday, March 22, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

CBS passed on an interview with Tiger Woods, saying that five minutes with the golfer wouldn’t be enough. There are hundreds of women out there who would probably disagree.

Tiger Woods has reportedly given his wife $150 million to stay in their relationship, and $300 million to always knock twice before entering his hotel room.

Bud Selig may realign baseball’s divisions. One option he’s seriously considering is moving the Orioles in the AL Central and moving the Nationals to Single A.

Ron Washington has tested positive for cocaine. The Rangers first suspected he had a problem after watching him snort the foul lines during the Seventh Inning Stretch.

Derrick Coleman has filed for bankruptcy. Financial, as well as moral. The former All-Star reportedly owes 99 creditors including American Express, Comerica and 75 different donut shops.

A three-game series between the Mets and Marlins has been moved from Miami to Puerto Rico. It’s unlikely anyone will be able to tell the difference.

Michael Jordan says he plans to run the Charlotte Bobcats his way… from Chicago. Jordan has called owning the Charlotte Bobcats a dream come true. After all, who doesn’t dream of owning a losing franchise that’s hemorrhaging money?

Chad Henne believes Tim Tebow is a second-rate quarterback. It takes one to know one.

According to a new study the odds a professional soccer player will be injured during a game are 1 in 75. And the odds that anyone in America will care are 1 in 75 million.

Ohio State’s Jim Tressel has become the first NCAA football coach to give an interview to a gay publication. Why do we get the sense that the discussion was mostly about tight ends?

The New York Police Department is looking for a suspect who looks just like Mariano Rivera. The Mets have offered to help on the off chance that he also PITCHES just like Mariano Rivera.