Mike Tyson's Top Ten KOs

Mike Tyson wasn’t always crazier than a soup sandwich. Long before he began biting off body parts and using his face as a canvas for tattoos, Iron Mike was the world’s most punishing pugilist. His vicious uppercuts sent fighters to the mat with breathtaking ease while his hellacious haymakers connected with the force of a thousand sledgehammers. Get ready to rumble as I proudly present my top 10 Mike Tyson KOs here.

Question of the Week

Jonah, Bloomington, IL
Subj: Dino
Is it true that Dean Martin was a boxer before be became an entertainer?

That’s correct, Jonah. Dino was a high school dropout who turned to boxing at the age of 15 in order to make ends meet. Unfortunately Martin didn’t have much of a feel for the sweet science and, as he recalls, he "won all but 11 of 12 fights." His brief time in the ring also left him with a broken nose, a permanently split lip and several sets of broken knuckles. Although his tenure as a professional pugilist was short-lived, Martin returned to boxing several years later when he moved to New York. According to legend, he and his roommate, Sonny King, used to cobble together rent money by charging friends a dollar each to watch them box in their living room. Comedian Denis Leary remembers talking to Martin about his amateur face-offs. “It’s classic. He said they’d get like 15 or 20 people a night,” Leary recalls. “That’s how they’d pay the rent. That’s old school.”

Question of the Week

Kristi, San Diego, CA
Subj: Sports or not?
Hey Ryan, what's the definition of a sport? Do you think that Poker can be considered a sport?

Excellent question, Kristel! According to the eggheads at Merriam-Webster, a sport is “a physical activity engaged in for pleasure.” By those less than rigorous standards it’s hard to see how poker qualifies. After all, the most strenuous part of the game is keeping your cards aloft, and most players don’t even bother to do that.

If you’re looking for a real sport you should turn your attention to chess boxing, a brand new hybrid in which competitors alternate between capturing pawns and clubbing the snot out of each other. According to the rules put forth by the World Chess Boxing Organization (www.wcbo.org), a typical match involves 6 four-minute rounds of chess and 5 two-minute rounds of boxing, with a one minute break between activities. If the chess game ends in a stalemate, the opponent with the higher score in boxing wins and if there is an equal score, the opponent with the black pieces wins. My hope is that Chess Boxing will eventually give way to other creative hybrid sports like Sumo Ski Jumping, Full Contact Crazy Eights or Drunken Gymnastics. Just imagine the possibilities!

Question of the Week

Dwight, Frankfort, Indiana
Subj: Put 'em up
What is the longest boxing match in history and who was involved?

The world’s longest pugilistic contest took place April 6, 1893 in New Orleans between Andy Bowen and “Texas” Jack Burke. The two men took turns beating the snot out of each other for 7 hours and 19 minutes before the match was finally declared a “no contest” when both fighters were unable to emerge from their respective corners. Burke never fought again and Bowen died on December 14th of the following year after striking his head on the floor in a match against George "Kid" Lavigne. All things considered, it makes Mike Tyson’s ear chomp seem almost humane.

Speaking Of Sports...

This week’s quote comes from English boxer Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton who has been busy promoting his upcoming fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr. Take it away Ricky!

"I've spent the whole week with him and it's like spending it with a six-year-old boy. If I end up like that, shoot me!"

Funny You Should Ask

Okay Gang, it's time for this week's burning question.

Would You Prefer…
To fight one round with Mike Tyson
Or
Run through a dog pound covered in veal cutlets?

Please discuss amongst yourselves.