Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Question of the Week

Carlos, San Juan, PR
Subj: Salon de La Fama
Why is the International Basketball Hall of Fame in Alcobendas, Spain, and not in America, the birthplace of the sport?

America does in fact have its own hoops shrine known as the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame. Located in downtown Springfield, Massachusetts, this highly interactive museum has been honoring the sport’s greatest players, coaches, referees and other major contributors since 1968. However, although the Hall has inducted several international members over the years it does have a remarkably American bias. That’s why Spanish basketball coach Pedro Ferrándiz González undertook an ambitious campaign in 1990 to establish a FIBA Hall of Fame in his native country. Opened in 1991, the Hall was created with the lofty intention of preserving the heritage of international basketball. Recent inductees include Serbian center Vlade Divac, Lithuanian guard Sarunas Marciulionis, German forward Detlef Schrempf and American legends Michael Jordan and Magic Johnson. To find out more visit:

Monday, January 25, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Tiger Woods is reportedly making great strides at a sex rehab facility in Mississippi. In fact, doctors already have reduced him to just nine holes a day.

The Saints beat the Vikings 31-28 in overtime. The game had almost as many twists and turns as a Brett Favre retirement announcement.

NASCAR is relaxing its rules to allow drivers to initiate more contact and reach higher speeds. In other words, they’ll now be allowed to drive just like Lindsay Lohan.

Mets are interested in Chien-Ming Wang. The veteran hurler has everything they look for in a pitcher: superb velocity, excellent command and an uncanny knack for getting injured every three days.

Clay Bennett has agreed to pay former SuperSonics season-ticket holders $1.6 million for removing the team from Seattle. In related news, Bruce Ratner has agreed to pay Nets season-ticket holders $17 million for KEEPING the team in New Jersey.

Glen Davis has been fined $25,000 for swearing at a fan who called him fat. Sadly, Davis was going to use that money to buy breakfast.

Allen Iverson has been named a starter in the NBA All-Star game. It’s an impressive feat considering he’s barely a starter on his own team.

Ron Artest has plantar fasciitis. It could be worse: he could have to spell it.

Major League Baseball has agreed to move a three-game series between the Mets and Marlins to San Juan. Sadly, both teams will be allowed to return once the series is over.

A sports promoter in Georgia is starting a basketball league exclusively for white players. Adam Morrison is thrilled.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Question of the Week

Ray, Victorville, CA
Subj: The best of both worlds
Hey Ryan, my friend and I are having a debate. Do you think Bo Jackson could have made it into the Hall of Fame if he had concentrated solely on baseball and had stayed reasonably healthy?

That’s an intriguing question. Let’s examine Jackson’s production. Bo played for four full seasons before his hip injury, during which time he averaged 27 home runs, 76 RBIs, 20 stolen bases and 111 hits per year. If he continued at the same pace and played until he was 38 (an age at which many sluggers call it quits) he would have finished with career totals of 405 home runs, 1140 RBI, 300 stolen bases and 1665 hits. Putting those totals into proper perspective reveals that Bo would have been 43rd on the all-time homerun leader board, 162nd on the RBI leader board, 149th on the stolen base leader board and 423rd on the hits leader board. Bear in mind that Bo was also a big whiffer who averaged 151 strikeouts a year, so he also would have finished his career with 2,265 Ks. That stat is particularly relevant because it would represent the third highest total in major league history. In fact, the only players who struck out more are Reggie Jackson, who played for 21 seasons and Sammy Sosa, who likely won’t make it into Cooperstown because of his suspected steroid use. Given the fact that superior sluggers – and league MVP’s - like Dale Murphy aren’t enshrined makes it hard to imagine how voters would allow Jackson to slip in. Let’s face it: Bo may have “known” cycling, soccer, cricket, surfing, weightlifting and auto racing, but I highly doubt he would have known what it feels like to be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Getting Animated

It’s time for another hilarious episode of Sports Talk Weekly, the show that trashes athletes and sports via animated shorts. In this week’s installment we take aim at Gilbert Arenas, Alex Ovechkin, The Mets, Matt Capps, Stephen Jackson, David Stern, Yao Ming, Matt Holliday, Tiger Woods and much, much more! Check it out by clicking here.

Monday, January 18, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Former major league All-Star Jose Offerman threw a punch at an umpire during a Dominican winter league game. Luckily for the ump, Offerman has always been a weak hitter.

Kurt Rambis says he’s embarrassed by the Timberwolves. And anyone who’s seen photos of Rambis during the 80’s knows his embarrassment threshold is remarkably high.

The Mets have reportedly lost faith in the abilities of General Manager Omar Minaya… just two years after the rest of the Western Hemisphere.

John Daly was spotted using a 20-year-old wedge at the Sony Open. It’s nice to hear Tiger Woods isn’t the only one using 20-year-olds these days

David Beckham says he uses Skype to help his son Brooklyn with his homework. That helps explain why Brooklyn is presently repeating third grade.

Michael Beasley says he wishes he worked at McDonald’s so nobody would care about his marijuana use. Luckily for him that wish is just one arrest away.

Former Net Shawne Williams is headed to prison on multiple counts of drug possession. It could be worse: he could he headed back to the Nets.

The Knicks celebrated Italian Heritage Night with the Toronto Raptors in town. The event featured Italian food, Italian music and two guys getting shoved into the trunk of a Cadillac.

Stephon Marbury has signed a contract with Shanxi Zhongyu of the Chinese Basketball Association. Apparently references were not required.

Blake Griffin expects to be healthy by late April… just in time to help the rest of his teammates clean out their lockers.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Tiger Woods has reportedly entered a sex rehab clinic in Arizona. He’s not addicted to sex; he just went to meet some women who are.

GM has decided to stop loaning Tiger Woods free Cadillac’s. On the positive side, he should be able to hitch a ride from any one of his 57 girlfriends.

Dwight Howard and LeBron James have decided to pull out of the Slam Dunk Contest. We’re amazed: We had no idea NBA players knew HOW to pull out.

Victoria Beckham has undergone breast reduction surgery. It sounds like David Beckham is back to being the biggest boob in the family.

Washington shot only 44 percent in a surprising loss to Detroit. It’s nice to hear the Wizards are shooting blanks for a change.

Nets forward Josh Boone says he would love to stay in New Jersey. Boone later retracted his statement after being informed there are 49 other states in the U.S.

The Baseball Hall of Fame has announced they’re keeping Mark McGwire’s bat in Cooperstown. That’s too bad: we were hoping they’d use it to beat some sense into Jose Canseco.

The Lakers have become the first NBA team to reach 3,000 wins. And to think, all it took was being in the same division as the Clippers.

Major League Baseball plans to discuss the expanded use of instant replay. The news is being celebrated by fans who have always felt baseball wasn’t quite slow enough.

The Florida Marlins are set to visit U.S. military troops in Iraq and Kuwait. It’s the perfect mission for a team that’s used to getting blown out.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Question of the Week

Richard, Cincinnati, OH
Subj: Buckeyes Basketball
Is it true that Hall of Famer John Havlicek tried out for the Cleveland Browns after leaving Ohio State?

That’s correct, Richard. Hondo first started popping up on the NFL’s radar in high school when he was an all-state quarterback. Although he elected not to play on the gridiron in college teams still kept tabs on his physical development and he was drafted by both the Boston Celtics and the Cleveland Browns in 1962. The idea of starring in two separate sports clearly appealed to him and he reported to the Browns training camp that summer where he was groomed as a lanky wide receiver. Unfortunately, the team was already loaded at his position and Havlicek was cut just before the first game of the season. He later called the incident the most crushing disappointment of his otherwise distinguished athletic career. On the positive side, the demotion made Havlicek work even harder at basketball and he went onto become a 13-time NBA All-Star and a nine-time world champion before hanging up his sneakers in 1978.

Monday, January 11, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Gilbert Arenas has promised to stay away from Washington Wizards games… just like millions of other D.C. basketball fans.

Adidas is considering dropping Gilbert Arenas. On the positive side, he’d be a perfect pitchman for Smith & Wesson.

New reports claim that Gilbert Arenas once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe. Oddly enough, Hallmark actually makes a card for that.

Los Angeles Clippers announcer Michael Smith has pleaded not guilty to stealing $735,000 from a golfing buddy. If convicted, Smith will be forced to continue broadcasting Clippers games for the next 25 years.

Allen Iverson has said he may skip the All-Star game if he’s selected. Apparently someone told him there may be a practice.

Maple Leafs head coach Ron Wilson says he’s "pissed off." You’d be angry too if you had to watch 82 hockey games a year.

An employee of the Philadelphia Eagles has said he’s sorry for spitting on the midfield star at the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium. In retrospect he says he wished he crapped on it instead.

The New Jersey Nets have decided to ban gambling on their flights. Sadly that was the only way their players might have won something this year.

The New Jersey Nets have fallen to a franchise-worst 3-34. Things are so bad fans are no longer even bothering to cut eye holes out of their paper bags.

Stephen Jackson recently compared shooting free-throws to making love to his wife. In related news, Stephen Jackson’s wife has a HUGE hole.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

David Stern has suspended Gilbert Arenas without pay, saying the Wizards guard is "not currently fit to take the court." Neither is Glen Davis, but the Celtics still let him play.

Gilbert Arenas has accused David Stern of being “mean.” The rest of the NBA has accused Gilbert Arenas of being a horrible trash talker.

Roberto Alomar came within ten votes of being elected into the Hall of Fame. It must be frustrating knowing he was within spitting distance.

The Washington Nationals have signed reliever Matt Capps. The club can barely wait to misspell his name on the backs of thousands of jerseys.

Matt Holliday has agreed to a seven-year, $120 million deal with the Cardinals. That’s not bad for a man who’s best remembered for trying to catch a fly ball with his nuts.

The Kansas City Chiefs are reportedly interested in Charlie Weis. It’s nice to know that at least one team no longer checks references.

Domino’s CEO David Brandon has been named the new athletic director at the University of Michigan. Apparently Papa John wasn’t available. Brandon plans to make a number of sweeping changes including replacing the hash marks at Michigan Stadium with Cinnastix.

Jimmie Johnson and his wife are expecting their first child. It’s amazing how much you can get done during a pit stop.

The New York Knicks recently rejected Magic Johnson’s request for free tickets. We’re not sure what’s more shocking: the fact that anyone would say no to Magic, or the fact that he actually wanted to watch the Knicks.

Chad Ochocinco says he recently tested out his injured left knee by having sex. In related news, the Cincinnati Bengals offer the best rehab ever.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Question of the Week

Randy, Riverside, CA
Subj: Football History
Hey Ryan, when did pro football get its start in America? Thanks for your time bud.

Professional football was born on November 12, 1892 when the Allegheny Athletic Association offered a three-time All-American guard named William “Pudge” Heffelfinger $500 to play in a game against the Pittsburgh Athletic Club. Heffelfinger happily consented and he led his team to victory by scoring the only touchdown of the game. Little did he know at that time that his actions would one day help a second rate signal caller like Rex Grossman secure $2 million a season.

Monday, January 4, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

USC is imposing sanctions on its basketball program for violating NCAA rules involving former player O.J. Mayo. The school decided not to punish Mayo directly since playing on the Memphis Grizzlies is punishment enough.

Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton reportedly drew guns on one another in the Wizards' locker room. Luckily for Crittenton, Arenas only takes ill-advised shots on the court.

The Wizards are close to trading Caron Butler and Mike James. In fact, Gilbert Arenas has even offered to pull the trigger on the deal.

Devin Harris estimates that 75 percent of all NBA players have weapons. Ironically only 50 percent of them have jump shots.

AT&T ended its sponsorship deal with Tiger Woods, which is strange, since no one has reached out and touched more people than Tiger Woods.

Tiger Woods’ wife has hired a private investigator to examine the extent of his wealth. If she wanted something probed she should have just hired Tiger Woods.

Braylon Edwards has pulled a page out of Joe Namath’s playbook by guaranteeing a Jets win. Up next? A sloppy makeout session with Suzy Kolber.

Blue Jays infielder Edwin Encarnacion was burned in the face during a fireworks mishap. All things considered he still looks far better than Sammy Sosa.

Eddy Curry recently missed practice with a stomach ailment. It’s still unclear which of his five stomachs was bothering him.

The Pacers have given up hope of trying to trade TJ Ford. Apparently the American auto industry isn’t the only group unable to move a Ford these days.