Saturday, September 29, 2007

A Trip Down Memory Lane

Do you need more than one Ask Ryan column to get you through the week? Dip into my Fox Sports archive at: Happy reading and keep your balls on the court!

Speaking Of Sports...

This week’s quote comes from English boxer Ricky “The Hitman” Hatton who has been busy promoting his upcoming fight with Floyd Mayweather Jr. Take it away Ricky!

"I've spent the whole week with him and it's like spending it with a six-year-old boy. If I end up like that, shoot me!"

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Ask Ryan - The Adventures of the 20 Million Dollar Man

Hi Gang,
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment go together like Ken Griffey Jr. and pulled groins. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about Justin Gatlin's whereabouts, college football's grand old man and Manny being Manny. Read all about it at:

Monday, September 24, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week's sports shorts.
American skier Bode Miller has vowed to avoid alcohol all year long. It’s still unclear if his decision is intended to boost his athletic performance or if Miller was simply tired of going home at 2 with a 10 and waking up at 10 with a 2.

The NBA plans to announce the formation of a Chinese subsidiary. The new league promises to be the only basketball organization in the world where the fans are actually taller than the players.

The Houston Rockets have finally come to terms with Dikembe Mutombo, making him the oldest player in the league. In fact, Mutombo is so ancient that his first basketball card was printed in hieroglyphics.

Eagles signal caller Donovan McNabb has said that black quarterbacks face greater scrutiny from fans than their white counterparts. Tim Couch could not be reached for comment.

Six University of Texas football players have now been arrested since June. Who do these guys think they are, the Bengals?

Rockets center Yao Ming will miss the team's media day and first two days of practice to appear at the Special Olympics in Shanghai. Wow. I always just assumed that he had a heavy accent.

The Tampa Bay Devil Rays are now marketing their very own brand of hot sauce. Unlike the team itself, the product can still be enjoyed beyond June.

The Giants recently dedicated a mural celebrating the team's history in San Francisco. The 10 foot by 70 foot design is now believed to be the second largest thing in AT&T Park next to Barry Bonds’ head.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Speaking Of Sports...

Our latest quote of the week comes from Tim McCarver, who offers some interesting insight into his relationship with former Cardinals teammate Bob Gibson. Take it away Tim!

“I remember one time going out to the mound to talk with Bob Gibson. He told me to get back behind the batter, that the only thing I knew about pitching was that it was hard to hit.”

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Ask Ryan - The Juice is Loose

Hi Gang,
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment go together like O.J. Simpson and criminal proceedings. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about inspiring workout music, the fastest man in NFL history and Calvin Murphy's legendary loins. Read all about it at:

Monday, September 17, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and enjoy my latest rim-rocking collection of sports shorts.

Portland has announced that Greg Oden will miss his entire rookie season after undergoing knee surgery. The Blazers haven’t had a joint problem this serious since Damon Stoudemire left town.

An imposter masquerading as a priest snuck into Notre Dame's home opener this season without a credential. Nothing new there. Notre Dame’s roster has been littered with imposters all season long.

A change of plea hearing is scheduled later this month in the drug case of former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson. I’m not a legal expert but I’d personally suggest a plea of insanity.

Phoenix beat Detroit 108-92 to capture their first WNBA championship in franchise history. The news came as a shock to many insiders who didn’t realize the WNBA still existed.

O.J. Simpson has been accused of directing several other men in an armed at a Las Vegas hotel. So much for whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Deion Sanders and his wife Pilar are taping a reality show on the Oxygen network entitled Prime Time Love. It should be interesting to see how they interact given the way Deion has always shied away from contact.

Motown legend Stevie Wonder, R. Kelly and White Sox outfielder Jermaine Dye were spotted together at a posh restaurant in Chicago. The news came as a surprise to Wonder who assumed that he was simply dining alone.

Kasey Kahne is on the verge of signing a lucrative new sponsorship deal with Budweiser. The two sides are still haggling over a clause that requires Kahne to chug 12 Bud Lites before the beginning of each race.

Friday, September 14, 2007

Speaking Of Sports...

Our latest quote of the week comes from Hammerin' Hank Aaron, who proves that the only thing harder than hitting a Big League curveball is hitting a golf ball on a stationary tee. Take it away Hank!

"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course."

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Ask Ryan - The Continuing Adventures of Tom Terrific

Hi Gang,
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment collide like Barry Bonds' head passing through a regulation-sized doorway. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about Shaquille O'Neal's nuptial woes, Tom Brady's history of double dipping and the most expensive baseball card of all time. Read all about it at:

Monday, September 10, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week's sport shorts.

The South Korean city of PyeongChang has declared its intention to bid for the 2018 Winter Olympics. The announcement comes as something of a surprise when you consider the amount of money they’ve already spent on vowels.

The Milwaukee Brewers have announced they will be making postseason tickets available to their fans for the first time in 15 years. That slight nip in the air you feel is the beginning of Hell freezing over.

Los Angeles Lakers guard Kobe Bryant has kicked off a five city tour of Asia. You know, I still remember when he only had to travel to Canada to find people who didn’t hate him.

An Illinois baseball fan has built a one-third-size replica of Wrigley Field. It just goes to show you how much you can accomplish when women never return your calls.

A punter who was cut last week by the Patriots was charged with attempting to beat up his father later that night. Luckily he’s just a punter, so no one was injured.

New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas is expected to be in a Manhattan federal court all week as his sexual harassment trial gets underway. It’s amazing what some coaches will do simply to fit in with their players.

Sources indicate that Baltimore Orioles outfielder Jay Gibbons received shipments of steroids from 2003 until 2005. Given his mediocre stats at that time, the news is expected to be far more crushing to the steroid industry than it will be to Gibbons’ career.

Saturday, September 8, 2007

Speaking Of Sports...

Our latest quote of the week comes from England manager Steve McClaren who clearly believes David Beckham’s future with the team is an open and shut case. Take it away Steve!

"I will never shut the door on David Beckham's international career. It will never be open.... er, closed."

Ah, the English. It's rather extraoridnary to think that they invented the language, isn't it?

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Ask Ryan - Simply The Best

Hi Gang,
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment collide like animal rights advocates on Michael Vick's doorstep. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about Darryl Dawkins' rim-rattling dunks, Tiger Woods' sporting superiority and those damn Yankees. Read all about it at:

Monday, September 3, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Kick back and relax as you enjoy this special long weekend version of my Sports Shorts.

The Tampa City Council has denied permission to expand the sale of hard liquor throughout Raymond James Stadium. The decision clearly indicates that no one on the council has ever had to watch the Buccaneers play for an entire four quarters.

Thoroughbred trainer Patrick Biancone has been suspended for 15 days after one of his horses was found to have a prohibitive amount of caffeine in its system. Authorities first became suspicious after spotting the horse in a Starbucks drive-thru three times in the same week.

Former Harlem Globetrotters coach Russell Ellington is dead at the age of 69. A public funeral will be held later this week in which a bucket of Ellington’s ashes will be thrown in the face of a lucky fan.

Houston Rockets guard Rafer Alston has been released without bail after stabbing a man at a Manhattan nightspot. We should have seen this coming: Alston has always been a slasher.

The name of Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Bruce Gradkowski's has surfaced during a federal points-shaving investigation at his alma mater, Toledo. Not surprisingly, Gradkowski is actually Polish for Donaghy.

PGA commissioner Tim Finchem has confirmed that he hopes to begin drug testing in 2008. Maybe now the sport will finally be able to weed out those hard bodied freaks of nature like Phil Mickleson and John Daly.

David Beckham could miss the rest of the Los Angeles Galaxy's campaign after being diagnosed with a sprained right knee. On the positive side, the English superstar has given fans permission to continue ogling his wife until the end of the season.

The Cleveland Cavaliers have expressed interest in 16-year veteran center Dikembe Mutombo. Apparently the team would like to have a grandfather figure for LeBron James.

The NFL is launching a makeover of its red, white and blue shield logo. The league is reportedly creating a leaner, meaner version of the iconic symbol that will feature Michael Vick being torn apart by a pair of angry pitbulls.

NFL coaches Mike Nolan of the 49ers and Jack Del Rio of the Jaguars will wear Joseph Abboud brand suits at home games this year as part of a new deal with the high end clothier. Unfortunately for Bill Belichick, Joseph Abbound does not create oversized sweatshirts.

Alex Rodriguez and his wife Cynthia were spotted taking in a match at the U.S. Open. It’s believed to be the first time the pair have experienced love together in more than a month.