Monday, January 28, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s sports shorts.

Good news and bad news from the NHL. The good news is that Hurricanes center Eric Staal won a truck as the MVP of the all-star team. The bad news is that commissioner Gary Bettman will now have to go back to taking public transportation.

This just in from the two weeks too late department: Tony Romo has reportedly broken up with Jessica Simpson. Apparently he couldn’t stand being with a woman who thought a quarterback was a refund.

Nike has revealed that their new Jordan 23s will cost $230 a pair. Of course, $115 of that goes directly to his ex-wife.

Rickey Henderson has been sued by a promoter of sports collectibles shows for not showing up at events that he had been paid to attend. It’s not the first time Henderson has gotten away with stealing.

Jose Canseco offered to keep Magglio Ordonez out of his upcoming book if the Tigers outfielder invested in a movie project he’s promoting. We’re not sure what the film is about, but we’re guessing it’s not a morality tale.

Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia came away the big winner at the Greater Cleveland Sports Awards where he was named the city’s top professional athlete. The only way the award could have been any better is if it came with a one-way ticket out of Cleveland.

Nuggets forward Nene is recovering nicely after doctors removed his right testicle. On the positive side, the operation has made the Brazilian considerably less nutty… and a much more confidant ball handler.

Colts QB Peyton Manning will host Upper Deck's VIP Super Bowl Party at a posh nightclub in Scottsdale. It should be the perfect space for him to watch all 27 of his new commercials.

Terrell Owens reportedly exchanged phone numbers with Paris Hilton in a Dallas nightclub. Something tells us this can only end in tears.

Heat center Shaquille O'Neal has indicated that he will not retire before his contract expires at the end of the 2009-2010 season. If having a day job keeps him from making movies and rap albums, we really can’t complain.