Getting Animated

It’s time for another hilarious episode of Sports Talk Weekly, the show that trashes athletes and sports via animated shorts. In this week’s installment we take aim at Manny Ramirez, Michael Phelps, David Ortiz, Ryan Zimmerman, John Lackey, Alex Rodriguez, Pete Rose, Jose Canseco and much, much more! Check it out by clicking here.

Talking Points - Blades of Glory

Welcome back for another edition of Talking Points, a handy cheat sheet designed to help you hold your own in any water cooler discussion. In this week’s column, I’ll examine the Chicago Bulls’ unlikely postseason victory, Jose Canseco’s fledging boxing career and Oscar Pistorius’ pursuit of Olympic gold. Read all about it here.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

New Reports suggest that Roger Clemens had a decade-long relationship with country star Mindy McCready that began when she was 15-years-old. Something tells us that’s not what the Red Sox had in mind when they began their youth mentoring program.

An umpire who took a 96 mph fastball to the right side of his jaw was released from a hospital, hours after briefly losing consciousness. Authorities have since labeled the case assault by a battery.

The University at Buffalo’s top basketball player has been suspended indefinitely by the school for posting an ad on the Internet offering to pay someone to write a course paper. Come on, he’s an athlete; shouldn’t people be writing his papers for free?

Two jockeys have been inducted into the Horse Racing Hall of Fame. It’s one of the few places in the world where you actually have to be shorter than the Charley Brown cut-out in order to get in.

Golfer Colin Montgomerie married his longtime sweetheart over the weekend in what many pundits labeled the number one Scottish social event of the year. Sadly, the second most popular event involved a bottle of Scotch and a pair of sheep.

Jose Canseco spent more than three hours with federal agents yesterday discussing the alleged steroid use of Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada and Alex Rodriquez. It’s believed to be the longest Canseco has ever gone without talking about himself.

A published report suggests that the Cubs may have thrown the 1918 World Series. Based on their performance ever since we’re guessing they probably threw it like a girl.

The Titans have finally traded Adam “Pacman” Jones him to the Cowboys. Dallas’s strippers are delighted with the news.

The Chicago Cubs defeated the Colorado Rockies to record their 10,000th win. Mind you, the Cubs are such losers they could win 10,000 games in a season and still finish a half game out of the playoffs.

North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough has announced he will return for his senior year. A 6-foot-9 forward, Hansbrough last season averaged averaged 22.6 points, 10.2 rebounds and 3.4 blinks per game.

Nuggets coach George Karl is reportedly on the radar of Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Then again, at 250 lbs. Karl is on EVERYONE’S radar.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s sports shorts.

Good news and bad news from the NHL. The good news is that Hurricanes center Eric Staal won a truck as the MVP of the all-star team. The bad news is that commissioner Gary Bettman will now have to go back to taking public transportation.

This just in from the two weeks too late department: Tony Romo has reportedly broken up with Jessica Simpson. Apparently he couldn’t stand being with a woman who thought a quarterback was a refund.

Nike has revealed that their new Jordan 23s will cost $230 a pair. Of course, $115 of that goes directly to his ex-wife.

Rickey Henderson has been sued by a promoter of sports collectibles shows for not showing up at events that he had been paid to attend. It’s not the first time Henderson has gotten away with stealing.

Jose Canseco offered to keep Magglio Ordonez out of his upcoming book if the Tigers outfielder invested in a movie project he’s promoting. We’re not sure what the film is about, but we’re guessing it’s not a morality tale.

Indians pitcher C.C. Sabathia came away the big winner at the Greater Cleveland Sports Awards where he was named the city’s top professional athlete. The only way the award could have been any better is if it came with a one-way ticket out of Cleveland.

Nuggets forward Nene is recovering nicely after doctors removed his right testicle. On the positive side, the operation has made the Brazilian considerably less nutty… and a much more confidant ball handler.

Colts QB Peyton Manning will host Upper Deck's VIP Super Bowl Party at a posh nightclub in Scottsdale. It should be the perfect space for him to watch all 27 of his new commercials.

Terrell Owens reportedly exchanged phone numbers with Paris Hilton in a Dallas nightclub. Something tells us this can only end in tears.

Heat center Shaquille O'Neal has indicated that he will not retire before his contract expires at the end of the 2009-2010 season. If having a day job keeps him from making movies and rap albums, we really can’t complain.