Monday, October 5, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

NBA players are back doing two a days. Incidentally, that’s two practices a day, not two groupies a day.

The NFL Players Association has formed a committee to address the issue of head trauma among players… and Raiders fans.

The Minnesota Timberwolves are seeking another investor. Preferably one who’s spent the last decade living under a rock.

All signs point to Tim Wakefield not pitching in the playoffs. It isn’t that he’s injured, it’s just that no one wants to stand around in the cold while waiting for his pitches to reach home plate.

Marlins pitcher Ricky Nolasco struck out 16 batters in a win over the Braves. Atlanta residents haven’t seen that many K’s strung together since the last time the Grand Wizard was in town.

Ryne Sandberg is campaigning to become the Cubs’ next manager. Some people have no ambition.

Jim Brown has told Michael Crabtree to end his holdout. In related news, Michael Crabtree has told Jim Brown to stop wearing hats from 1970s Blaxploitation films.

Workers at an Arizona cryonics facility reportedly mutilated the frozen head of Ted Williams. If there’s a Hell, something tells us Teddy Ballgame will be gleefully waiting for them with a Louisville Slugger.

The Mets are cutting the price of 2010 season tickets by an average of 10 percent. That seems fitting since interest in the team has been cut by 90 percent.

Giants QB Eli Manning has a sensitive heel. It’s a nice change from several years ago when he WAS a sensitive heel.