Question of the Week

Paul, Sacramento, CA
Subj: Hall Of Fame
Has there ever been a person voted into the baseball hall of fame by 100% of the voters? If not, why?

Not yet, Paul, although several players have come tantalizingly close. Ty Cobb got the ball rolling back in 1936 when he came within four votes of being named a unanimous selection. Since then, Hank Aaron, Tom Seaver, George Brett, Nolan Ryan, Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken Jr. have all been ushered into Cooperstown with the support of at least 97% of voters. So, why is it so difficult to become a unanimous selection? In some cases it’s just a matter of bad timing. Just look at Babe Ruth. The Bambino received only 95.13% percent of the vote because he had the misfortune of sharing the ballot with Walter Johnson, Christy Mathewson and Honus Wagner. Snobbery is also another big issue. Many voters relish the fact that no one has been elected unanimously and believe that doing so would tarnish the legacies of other legendary players. In their opinion, a player like Wade Boggs shouldn’t merit 100% of the vote if exalted figures like Ted Williams and Cy Young both received less than 94% during their respective years. Finally, some players have received fewer votes than they deserved because they never endeared themselves to the journalists who constitute the Hall of Fame’s voting pool. Given these three mitigating factors, it’s highly unlikely we’ll ever see a player swept into Cooperstown with unanimous support.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Oakland A’s are thinking of relocating to San Jose. The only question that remains is whether anyone in Oakland will actually notice.

The New Jersey Nets have reached a deal to move their regular-season games to Newark's Prudential Center. Apparently the Hoboken Sportsplex was already booked.

The New York Knicks have now traded enough players, waived enough assets and cleared enough salary cap room to acquire LeBron James. In fact, the only thing they haven’t done is given him a team worth joining.

Tiger Woods says he still loves his wife very much. Well sure, he’d say anything to get his three iron back.

Johan Santana recently told reporters he’s the best pitcher in the National League. And the most humble.

Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld has said that Gilbert Arenas will stay in Washington. Mainly because his ankle bracelet beeps every time he tries to leave.

Pau Gasol believes Kevin Garnett is extremely limited. And we believe Gasol’s lifespan may be extremely limited once Garnett finds out.

Serena Williams has enrolled in a 240-hour program to become a certified nail technician. It’s nice to know she’ll have something to fall back on in case this whole tennis thing doesn’t pan out.

An al-Qaida-linked guerrilla group has been threatening several teams at the men’s field hockey World Cup. It’s nice to know that at least someone is following the sport.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman says he’s surprised Johnny Damon is going to Detroit. In fact, ANYONE who’s been to Detroit is surprised he’s going there.

Ozzie Guillen has agreed to be the subject of a reality show this season. Censors are standing by.

The inventor of the Frisbee has died at the age of 90. Mourners plan to throw his body over an open field before being burying it later this week.

Question of the Week

Noah, San Francisco, CA
Subj: Hindsight is 20/20
How many quarterbacks were drafted before Tom Brady?

Believe it or not, NFL personnel selected five other quarterbacks before the New England Patriots snatched Tom Brady with the 199th pick of the 2000 draft. Although each of those prospects was highly regarded at the time, the list now reads like a roll call for the witness protection program. The Jets selected Chad Pennington with the 18th pick, the 49ers selected Giovanni Carmazzi with the 65th pick, the Ravens selected Chris Redman with the 75th pick, the Steelers selected Tee Martin with the 163rd pick, the Saints selected Marc Bulger with the 168th pick and the Browns selected Spergon Wynn with the 183rd pick. If you remove Bulger and Pennington from the equation, the remaining signal callers have combined for 6 starts, 18 touchdowns and 16 interceptions. Brady, meanwhile, has started 128 games, thrown 225 touchdowns, won three Super Bowls and been named to the Pro Bowl five times. As if that weren’t impressive enough, he’s also now married to the world's most sought-after supermodel. Take that Giovanni Carmazzi!

In The Spotlight

I'm delighted to announce that my celebrity profile of two-time Olympic medalist Dale Begg-Smith is now online. Learn more about freestyle skiing's most controversial figure by clicking here.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

108,000 fans attended the NBA All-Star Game in Dallas. It’s the largest crowd ever to be bored by a professional basketball game.

The Nets have placed Mike Krzyzewski on their wish list. Right next to a fifth win.

David Stern expects the Charlotte Bobcats to be sold in the next 60 days. In related news, a fool and his money will soon be parted.

Tyrus Thomas could be headed to Minnesota. In related news, Tyrus Thomas’s agent could be on the verge of getting fired.

The Cincinnati Bengals are interested in signing Matt Jones and Pacman Jones. It’s unclear whether they’re trying to improve their team or form a gang.

Allen Iverson has hinted he could be retiring soon. Three years after he should have.

Frank Thomas has announced he’s “done” with baseball. That’s hardly surprising since baseball has been done with him for nearly a decade.

Floyd Mayweather believes he could have played in the NBA. It’s amazing what a guy will say after getting hit in the head a few thousand times.

B.J. Upton has lost his arbitration hearing with the Rays. It’s the biggest win Tampa Bay has had since 2008.

Larry Bird says the Pacers’ rebuilding plan is right on target… for 2050.

The St. Louis Rams have officially been sold to an Illinois businessman named Shahid Khan. The team will henceforth be known the St. Louis Tax Write-offs.

You've Got To Be Joking

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The Pac-10 is considering adding another team to the conference. The Detroit Lions are hoping it will be them.

Rick Pitino is interested in joining the Nets. Sadly, he’d be their best player.

Las Vegas has already released the odds on who will win next season's Super Bowl. The Lions are listed at 100/1, just behind Tampa Bay, Oakland and you.

The man who shot videos of Erin Andrews through a hotel room peephole has admitted to videotaping 16 other reporters. Luckily for us he decided to keep the nude clips of Chris Berman to himself. That alone should be enough to reduce his sentence by five years.

The Phoenix Coyotes will open the 2010-11 NHL season in Europe. Many fans are hoping they stay there.

San Antonio Spurs guard George Hill has apologized for a collection of nude pictures that were recently posted online. His AND Greg Oden’s.

The Brewers are erecting a statue of baseball commissioner Bud Selig outside Miller Park. It was either that or a giant cockroach.

The Rockets, Knicks and Wizards are discussing a three-team trade. The deal would send Tracy McGrady to New York, Jared Jeffries to Houston and Gilbert Arenas to a halfway house.

The Indians have reached an agreement with right-hander Jamey Wright. And both parties agree that Cleveland has no shot at the playoffs.

The Mets have reportedly run out of money. Luckily for them most of their salaries will be paid by medical insurance anyhow.

Question of the Week

Jason, Valparaiso, IN
Subj: Simply the best
In your opinion, what was the best high school hoops team of all-time?

My vote goes to the 1982-1983 Dunbar Poets. The thoroughbreds from this legendary Baltimore high school humbled opponents on a nightly basis en route to recording a perfect 31-0 record while also preserving a 59-game winning streak. Leading the attack were future NBA stars Reggie Williams, Reggie Lewis and Mugsy Bogues as well as a bevy of future college hoopsters including Herman Harried (Syracuse), Mike Brown (Clemson), Keith James (UNLV) and Darryl Wood (Virginia State). 25 years later, Wood still marvels at the team’s unparalleled depth. “We carried 15 players,” he says, “and I’d say at least 12 of us had Division 1 ability.” Naturally, it didn’t take long for local residents to catch on, and the Poets became such a huge hit in Crabtown that tickets for their sold-out games were frequently scalped for $100 a piece. Baltimore Sun sports editor Sam Davis still gushes when he reflects on the team’s incredible roster. “You needed two balls out there for all the kinds of talent they had” he says.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Vanilla Ice recently performed at halftime of a Nets-Raptors game. Haven’t those poor fans already suffered enough?

Tom Watson believes Tiger Woods needs to show some humility when he returns to golf. Watson noted it would also help if Woods doesn’t try to bone every woman in sight.

A game between the Atlanta Hawks and Washington Wizards was postponed because of a massive blizzard. Apparently God really is merciful.

Danica Patrick was repeatedly bumped from the front, side and back at her first stockcar event. And that was before she even made it onto the track.

Jerry Rice and Emmitt Smith were both reduced to tears at their Hall of Fame induction ceremony. You’d cry too if you were in a club that included Michael Irvin.

Several of Tyreke Evans’ teammates believe he hogs the ball. The news has come as a shock to Evans who didn’t realize he HAD teammates.

Donald Sterling has allegedly reached out to Isiah Thomas to run the Clippers… into the ground.

Chris Paul will be on crutches for three weeks following knee surgery. Sadly, he’ll still be more mobile than Emeka Okafor.

The demolition of Giants Stadium is now underway. The event has attracted little attention since New York sports fans are accustomed to huge collapses.

The British Olympic Ski and Snowboard Federation has gone bankrupt. That’s what happens when you have to travel 10,000 miles just to find snow.

Pau Gasol is reportedly frustrated by his lack of touches. We’re not sure whether that’s an issue for Lakers management or for his wife

Brandon Roy, Chris Paul, Carmelo Anthony, Kevin Garnett, Allen Iverson and Kobe Bryant could all miss the NBA All-Star Game. Things are so bleak that the commissioner now has Pops Mensah-Bonsu on speed dial.

Question of the Week

Brad, Bettendorf, IA
Subj: The Kutch
Is it true that Ashton Kutcher used to be a pretty decent athlete?

That’s correct, Brad. Long before he began swapping spit with Demi Moore, Kutcher was a middle linebacker and tight end at Clear Creek-Amana High School in Tiffin, Iowa, where he helped the Clippers win two games over a three-year span. The Punk’d star still follows the game closely and is a self professed super fan of the Chicago Bears. “I consider myself the 12th man, he says. “I'm a member of the team. I actually feel I should be on salary.” Kutcher insists his interest in Da Bears isn’t a passing fancy. “For 22 years I have bled blue and orange,” he says. “Through the Harbaugh, Tomczak, Krenzel, Salaam, Enis pain.” If that’s anything like the pain of sitting through The Butterfly Effect, it must be intense.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

John Daly has announced that he’s decided to stop drinking beer. In related news, Anheuser-Busch plans to lay off 10,000 employees later today.

Kenny Lofton has been named to the Cleveland Indians Hall of Fame. Or, as we like to call it, the loneliest place on Earth.

The Pittsburgh Pirates plan to put a statue of Bill Mazeroski outside PNC Park. It will go right next to the statue of Ian Snell, the last Pirates pitcher to post an ERA below 6.00.

Michael Phelps was spotted giving an attractive woman a shoulder rub at a poker tournament. It’s nice to hear someone is picking up Tiger Woods’ slack.

Several teams are reportedly interested in J.J. Redick. Unfortunately for him they all play in the ACC.

Mike D'Antoni has revealed that the Knicks are looking to make a major trade. And if D’Antoni has his way, he’ll be the first one to go.

Dr. J has put his Utah mansion on the market for $2.25 million. The 6,572-square foot villa has five bedrooms, five bathrooms and doorframes high enough to accommodate even the largest of afros.

Randy Winn has signed a $2 million deal with the Yankees. It might just be the cheapest win New York gets all year long.

Prince Fielder says he hopes to spend the rest of his career in Milwaukee. After all, it’s the only city in the U.S. where he’s actually considered svelte.

Rex Ryan has apologized for making an obscene gesture at a mixed martial arts fight. God knows, you wouldn’t want to debase a classy event like that.