Monday, August 20, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week's sports shorts.

Former NBA referee Tim Donaghy has pled guilty to wagering on games he officiated. Experts believe his admission may be even more damaging than the league’s use of really small shorts during the 1970s.

A center on the Rutgers women's basketball team sued Don Imus and CBS for slander and defamation of character. Wow, those are pretty big words for a nappy-headed ho.

Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson have turned down invitations to play in the LG Skins Game. In their defense, the two golfers backed out when they mistakenly thought John Daly would be playing topless.

Former Phillies General Manager Ed Wade got stuck in a tree while skydiving. Some guys will stop at nothing to be well hung.

Giants coach Tom Coughlin surprised his team by canceling their classroom work and taking them bowling. It was an appropriate choice of activities since the Giants should spend most of the season in the gutters.

Lakers super fan Jack Nicholson has developed a serious problem in which his saliva glands have stopped working. Apparently that’s what happens when he has to go more than three months without watching the Laker Girls.

ESPN has decided not to air the NFL QB Challenge because it featured Michael Vick. Smart move. Why would anyone want to watch Vick run and throw a football when they could watch him run away from authorities and throw away his career?

Vinny Testaverde has re-signed with the New England Patriots. The 43-year-old quarterback will provide the team with an experienced backup in case Tom Brady impregnates another celebrity.