Monday, December 3, 2007

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has been selected NASCAR’s most popular driver for the fifth straight year, drawing more than 1.5 million votes online. The news comes as a surprise to many experts who didn’t realize racing fans actually knew how to use a computer.

One of Michael Vick's co-defendants has been sentenced to 18 months in prison on federal dog fighting conspiracy charges. In case you’re wondering, that’s 126 months in dog years.

Gatorade inventor Dr. Robert Cade has died of kidney failure at the age of 80. A small service will be held later this week for family and friends followed by the dumping of two large coolers of orange Gatorade on his coffin.

Dick's Sporting Goods has purchased Chick's Sporting Goods for $71 million. We always suspected that Chicks loved Dicks.

Ricky Williams’ season is now over after he tore a chest muscle. If only he had something ion hand to help alleviate his pain.

The Boston Celtics blew out the New York Knicks by 45 points. The only way the game could have been more one-sided is if Isiah Thomas had allowed Spike Lee to play point guard.

South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier was recently spotted visiting Duke’s campus. Don’t get your hopes up football fans. He was just on his way to a lacrosse party.

St. Louis manager Tony La Russa has pleaded guilty to driving under the influence, eight months after police found him asleep inside his running SUV. No word yet on whether La Russa will also own up to drunken managing after the Cards finished 6 games below .500 this past season.

Harness driver Tim Tetrick has broken the single-season record with his 1,078th victory of the year. Tetrick has been riding his horses so hard this year that they’re already starting to smell like glue.

Blackhawks forward Tuomo Ruutu was detained by police while jogging because he fit the description of an armed robbery suspect. That’s what you get for broadcasting your games on Versus.

HBO is planning to make a film out of Game of Shadows. No word yet on who will play Barry Bonds, although producers seem to be favoring one of the heads from Mount Rushmore.