Friday, October 10, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Alex Rodriguez was recently spotted going into Madonna's Central Park West highrise. It's October, though, so we're assuming he probably struck out.

Barry Bonds made a rare public appearance in San Francisco recently and said he is enjoying life away from baseball. That’s quite a coincidence since baseball is really enjoying life away from Barry Bonds.

A judge has moved Travis Henry’s cocaine-trafficking trial to Montana. It’s believed to be the first time the words “Montana” and “Traffic” have been used in the same sentence.

American gymnast Alicia Sacramone has said that having an Olympic medal is “like getting a get out of jail free card." Somehow we think Marion Jones might disagree.

The New Orleans Saints have decided to feature a picture of a blown facemask call on the front page of their website. It’s uncertain whether the image will attract any attention since the Internet is already full of pictures of things getting blown.

Stephon Marbury has said that he would be happy to come off the bench. It’s a surprising declaration considering the only thing worse than not starting for the Knicks is actually having to watch them play.

Michael Phelps was formally welcomed home to Baltimore with a massive parade. The procession was scheduled to last three hours but Phelps finished it in just 1 minute and 37 seconds.

Red Sox DH David Ortiz is currently auctioning his bed for charity. It’s the perfect item for someone who likes to score up to 100 times a year.

New York reliever Ambiorix Burgos has turned himself in following a hit-and-run accident. Police were amazed at how easily he gave up until they remembered he pitched for the Mets.

Lindsay Lohan's father, Michael, is looking to take someone on in the ring for $5,000. And based on her career prospects, it might just be Lindsay.

Jaguars receiver Matt Jones will have his cocaine charge heard in drug court rather than the regular criminal system. As everyone knows, drug court is a lot faster since it has fewer lines.