Monday, December 22, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

NASCAR has settled a $225 million lawsuit filed by a former official who said she was subjected to racial discrimination and sexual harassment. The news comes as a shock to many NASCAR fans who didn’t realize harass was one word.

Lindsay Davenport is pulling out of the Australian Open because she is pregnant with her second child. It’s nice to know that at least one person in her marriage knows how to pull out.

Vince Young is suing former major leaguer Enos Cabell for trying to use his initials and "Invinceable" nickname to sell products without his permission. Luckily for Young, the names “Cry Baby” and “Whiner” are still available.

Rotund hurler C.C. Sabathia is expected to receive a $9.5 million bonus from the New York Yankees. Or as he calls it, lunch money.

A woman has pleaded no contest to stalking Lakers forward Luke Walton. The California resident has been sentenced to three years' probation, told to attend counseling and encouraged to set her sights a little higher the next time she decides to stalk a celebrity.

NASCAR has announced it will begin testing drivers for performance-enhancing drugs in January. Drivers will be tested for 13 different narcotics, ten different barbiturates and seven varieties of moonshine.

The Boston Celtics are reportedly interested in signing Stephon Marbury. Given the state of the economy who wouldn’t want a player who pays $2,600 for his own courtside seats?

The Lions slipped to 0-15 after losing 42-7 to the Saints. On the positive side, the team could be just one more loss away from a massive congressional bailout.