Monday, February 9, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Kellogg has announced it will not renew its sponsorship deal with Michael Phelps. Fortunately he should have no problem picking up another cereal brand like Cannabis Crunch or Honey Bunches of Hemp.

Tony Romo plans to spend the week on tour with his girlfriend Jessica Simpson. It’s unclear whether he’ll be there to support her or to keep her away from the buffets.

The participants in the NBA’s first officially sanctioned H-O-R-S-E competition will now have to spell out another five letter word: G-E-I-C-O. It could be worse: at least the event isn’t being sponsored by Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance.

The New York Mets are claiming they won’t be hurt in any way by Bernard Madoff's web of deceit. Unfortunately the team can’t say the same thing about their new bullpen.

Larry Fitzgerald led the NFC to a 30-21 victory at the Pro Bowl in Hawaii. The annual event is the only game of the season where even the kickers are guaranteed to get leied.

Alex Rodriguez allegedly tested positive for steroids in 2003. We’re not sure what’s more shocking: the fact that A-Rod was juiced or that Jose Canseco was actually right.

Animal Planet is producing a new 12-part series that will take viewers into the lives of jockeys. The program is expected to appeal equally to those who love Black Beauty and those who adore Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

The Lakers have landed Adam Morrison in a three-player deal with the Bobcats. Despite his porn star stache it’s believed to be the first three-way he’s ever been involved in.

Kelly Clark of the United States is the latest winner of the World Cup halfpipe event. It’s nice to hear of an American athlete doing something positive with a pipe for a change.

56-year-old athlete Jennifer Figge has become the first woman to swim across the Atlantic. Some people will do anything to save on airfare.