Monday, June 22, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Tony LaRusso has picked up his 2,500th victory. In all fairness, half of those have been against the Nationals.

Spanish point guard Ricky Rubio recently became ill after visiting Sacramento. Just wait until he sees Detroit.

The Minnesota Timberwolves have fired Kevin McHale, telling him they plan to go in a different direction. And by different direction, they mean “up.”

Alex Ovechkin has been named the NHL’s MVP for the second straight year. The honor entitles him to a free breakfast at the Denny’s of his choosing.

Dontrelle Willis has been placed on the 15-day disabled list with an anxiety disorder. We’d be nervous too if we had to spend a whole summer in Detroit.

Lou Pinella would like to have beer back in the Cubs clubhouse. Based on some of his managerial decisions we assumed it already was.

Rains forced another lengthy delay at the U.S. Open. On the positive side, it’s the first shower John Daly has had in weeks.

The Washington Wizards have inquired about Larry Hughes and Jared Jeffries. In both cases they were wondering if they were still alive.

Vin Baker has signed with Marinos de Anzoategui of Puerto Rico. It’s unclear whether that’s a basketball team or a family-friendly Mexican restaurant.

Iowa offensive lineman Kyle Calloway has been arrested and charged with operating a moped while intoxicated. On the positive side, he did set a new record for the slowest police chase ever.

A Ryan Leaf autographed jersey is currently selling for $449.99 on The uniform is so valuable since no one knew Leaf could actually write. For those of you on a budget, you can save $450 and get his signature simply by becoming his prison pen pal.

Rotund rebounder Oliver Miller would like to get back into the NBA. He’d also like to get back into a size 46 waist, but that probably won’t happen either.