Monday, February 22, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Oakland A’s are thinking of relocating to San Jose. The only question that remains is whether anyone in Oakland will actually notice.

The New Jersey Nets have reached a deal to move their regular-season games to Newark's Prudential Center. Apparently the Hoboken Sportsplex was already booked.

The New York Knicks have now traded enough players, waived enough assets and cleared enough salary cap room to acquire LeBron James. In fact, the only thing they haven’t done is given him a team worth joining.

Tiger Woods says he still loves his wife very much. Well sure, he’d say anything to get his three iron back.

Johan Santana recently told reporters he’s the best pitcher in the National League. And the most humble.

Wizards GM Ernie Grunfeld has said that Gilbert Arenas will stay in Washington. Mainly because his ankle bracelet beeps every time he tries to leave.

Pau Gasol believes Kevin Garnett is extremely limited. And we believe Gasol’s lifespan may be extremely limited once Garnett finds out.

Serena Williams has enrolled in a 240-hour program to become a certified nail technician. It’s nice to know she’ll have something to fall back on in case this whole tennis thing doesn’t pan out.

An al-Qaida-linked guerrilla group has been threatening several teams at the men’s field hockey World Cup. It’s nice to know that at least someone is following the sport.

Yankees GM Brian Cashman says he’s surprised Johnny Damon is going to Detroit. In fact, ANYONE who’s been to Detroit is surprised he’s going there.

Ozzie Guillen has agreed to be the subject of a reality show this season. Censors are standing by.

The inventor of the Frisbee has died at the age of 90. Mourners plan to throw his body over an open field before being burying it later this week.