Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.
The Cardinals are feeling plenty of heat after coughing up a lead with 35 seconds to go in Super Bowl XLIII. But as they say in Arizona, it’s a dry heat.
Gatorade has officially re-branded itself as “G.” Sadly, their splashy Super Bowl commercials were the only G-Spots most men will ever see.
Kurt Warner was handed the NFL Man of the Year trophy just before kickoff. Of course, as every one knows, real men win rings, not trophies.
A Japanese sumo wrestler has been arrested and accused of marijuana possession. Police were unable to definitively confirm whether he was carrying pot since they only had seven hours to examine his various folds of fat.
David Wells has fired back at Joe Torre, claiming the manager unfairly criticized his ex-players in his new book, The Yankee Years. The news has come as a surprise to many observers who didn’t realize that David Wells could actually read.
Michael Irvin is producing a new reality TV show in which he'll give one guy off the street a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. Wait a second, didn’t they do that last year with Pacman Jones?
Terrell Owens has agreed to star in a VH-1 reality show loosely based on the network’s previous hit, “Scott Baio Is 45 & Single.” The new show has been tentatively titled, “Terrell Owens is 35 and Unbearable.”
Former Heavyweight Champion Ingemar Johansson has passed away at the age of 76. His death is particularly saddening for Evander Holyfield, who was hoping to fight him sometime next month.
Michael Vick could be transferred to a halfway house in Virginia any day now. It should be a nice change of pace from the doghouse he’s been in for the last year and a half.
Golden State rookie Anthony Randolph has fired his agent B.J. Armstrong. It’s believed to be the first time in modern history that a professional athlete has knowingly turned down a B.J.
Josh Howard has said that he would like to stay in Dallas. His dealer couldn’t be happier.
Showing posts with label david wells. Show all posts
Showing posts with label david wells. Show all posts
Monday, February 2, 2009
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Ask Ryan - News You Can Use
Hi Gang,
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment collide converge like David Wells at an all-you-can-eat buffet. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about famous roomies, the most common name in the Major Leagues and the odds of being injured by a toilet seat. Read all about it at: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7038908
Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment collide converge like David Wells at an all-you-can-eat buffet. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about famous roomies, the most common name in the Major Leagues and the odds of being injured by a toilet seat. Read all about it at: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7038908
Monday, July 16, 2007
You've Got To Be Joking
Kick back as you enjoy this week's sports shorts.
68 percent of voters polled by China Daily want Yi Jianlian to sign with the Bucks. The poll proves two things: 1) Chinese citizens believe strongly in Jianlian’s ability to flourish in the NBA and 2) They’ve obviously never been to Milwaukee.
Antoine Walker and a relative were bound at gunpoint while multiple robbers took a car, cash and jewelry from his Chicago home. It was a particularly terrifying incident because, unlike Walker, the robbers could actually shoot straight.
Longtime major league umpire Shag Crawford has died at the age of 90. On the positive side, there should be no shortage of major league managers willing to kick dirt on his coffin.
Los Angeles Lakers draft pick Marc Gasol has announced he plans on staying in Spain. That’s odd. Usually players meet with Kobe Bryant before wanting to leave the country.
The Carolina Panthers have signed Philippe Gardent, a former member of the French national bobsled team. The signing is expected to come in handy should the Panthers win the Super Bowl and Hell freezes over.
David Wells has been suspended for seven games for his animated argument with an umpire. It could have been worse. He could have eaten him.
Wrigley has signed a deal with the National Basketball Association making it the Official Chewing Gum of the NBA. The partnership is ironic given the fact that half the players in the league can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.
The New York Mets have designated 48-year-old infielder Julio Franco for assignment. It’s still unclear whether his assignment will be in the Minor Leagues or in a nursing home.
The Philadelphia Phillies have become the first club in Major League history to lose 10,000 games. Incidentally, that’s also how many games Tom Glavine may need to pitch before collecting his 300th win.
French long jumper Salim Sdiri was accidentally hit with a javelin at an athletics meet in Rome. It’s believed to be the first time in history that a track and field event has included a hole in one.
Astros manager Phil Garner has said he’s willing to use voodoo to get into the head of Cubs' righthander Carlos Zambrano. Why bother? All Michael Barrett needed was his right fist.
Antoine Walker and a relative were bound at gunpoint while multiple robbers took a car, cash and jewelry from his Chicago home. It was a particularly terrifying incident because, unlike Walker, the robbers could actually shoot straight.
Longtime major league umpire Shag Crawford has died at the age of 90. On the positive side, there should be no shortage of major league managers willing to kick dirt on his coffin.
Los Angeles Lakers draft pick Marc Gasol has announced he plans on staying in Spain. That’s odd. Usually players meet with Kobe Bryant before wanting to leave the country.
The Carolina Panthers have signed Philippe Gardent, a former member of the French national bobsled team. The signing is expected to come in handy should the Panthers win the Super Bowl and Hell freezes over.
David Wells has been suspended for seven games for his animated argument with an umpire. It could have been worse. He could have eaten him.
Wrigley has signed a deal with the National Basketball Association making it the Official Chewing Gum of the NBA. The partnership is ironic given the fact that half the players in the league can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.
The New York Mets have designated 48-year-old infielder Julio Franco for assignment. It’s still unclear whether his assignment will be in the Minor Leagues or in a nursing home.
The Philadelphia Phillies have become the first club in Major League history to lose 10,000 games. Incidentally, that’s also how many games Tom Glavine may need to pitch before collecting his 300th win.
French long jumper Salim Sdiri was accidentally hit with a javelin at an athletics meet in Rome. It’s believed to be the first time in history that a track and field event has included a hole in one.
Astros manager Phil Garner has said he’s willing to use voodoo to get into the head of Cubs' righthander Carlos Zambrano. Why bother? All Michael Barrett needed was his right fist.
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