Wednesday, May 6, 2009

You've Got To Be Kidding

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Good news and bad news for Dave Bing. The good news is that the Pistons legend has been elected mayor of Detroit. The bad news is he actually had to live there.

A woman has been charged with stalking Eagles backup quarterback A.J. Feeley. Luckily she should be able to get off easily by pleading insanity.

Jessica Simpson has admitted to sending mass e-mails before Cowboys games asking friends to pray for Tony Romo's protection. The confession has shocked many insiders who had no idea Jessica Simpson knew how to use a computer.

Yankees catcher Jorge Posada has been placed on the disabled list. He isn’t actually injured, he just doesn’t want to around when A-Rod returns.

Mine That Bird has become the first horse to appear on the cover of Sports Illustrated since 2004. Mind you, the magazine has featured plenty of athletes hung like horses since that time.

Agent Scott Boras has said that he would like to see major changes to the World Series. In related news, Bud Selig has said he would like to make major changes to Scott Boras’ face.

Joba Chamberlain’s mother has been arrested for selling meth to an undercover officer. Authorities are uncertain if they’ll also charge her for giving birth to 230 lbs. of Dope.

Michael Beasley and Mario Chalmers were reportedly fined throughout the season by the Miami Heat. You know what they say; if you can’t stand the Heat… you’re probably not alone.

The Phoenix Coyotes have filed for bankruptcy. It’s nice to hear that NBA players aren’t the only ones that spend their off seasons in court.

A man who robbed Antoine Walker at gunpoint has been sentenced to 21 years in prison. It could be worse; he could have been sentenced to 21 years of being his teammate.