Eat Your Wheaties

Sports and advertising have always gone hand-in-hand as companies have consistently turned to clean-living athletes to help boost their image and improve their visibility. That’s particularly evident when you look at the long and storied history of Wheaties.

The so-called “Breakfast of Champions” began its enduring relationship with jocks in 1934 when legendary New York Yankees infielder Lou Gehrig became the first professional athlete to appear on a box of Wheaties. The appearance came 10 years after Wheaties debuted on grocery shelves across America and it produced such encouraging results that the cereal continued to regularly feature baseball players over the next five years. By 1939, Wheaties had become so synonymous with America’s national pastime that 46 of the 51 players selected to the Major League Baseball All-Star Game were official Wheaties pitchmen.

The athlete with the most number of Wheaties appearances, meanwhile, is Michael Jordan. The five-time NBA MVP has appeared on the box 18 times, including three appearances with Dennis Rodman, one of the few players in the world flakier than the cereal itself.

Surprisingly, you don’t have to be a pro athlete to appear on a Wheaties box. The cereal has also turned the spotlight on big-game hunters, airline pilots, explorers, rodeo riders and even livestock breeders. So, maybe there’s hope for you yet!

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Larry Brown has reportedly been texting Allen Iverson. We’re not sure what more surprising: the fact that Allen Iverson knows how to read or the fact that Larry Brown knows how to operate technology made after 1943.

The Knicks have decided to pass on signing Allen Iverson. Their decision marks the first time in years the words “Allen Iverson” and “pass” have been uttered in the same sentence.

Tennessee has dismissed two freshmen football players charged in an attempted armed robbery. What a shame: if they went to Miami they would have gotten a credit for it.

Dennis Rodman has been detained in Germany after a hotel said he skipped out on a $5,000 bill. That’s nothing: Rodman used to spend that much just on dress alterations.

Miami believes it’s found a way to lure LeBron James and Chris Bosh to the Heat. It’s called “a miracle.”

Zack Greinke has been named the American League’s CY Young Award winner. The Royals plan to celebrate his victory by quitting while they’re ahead.

Broncos coach Josh McDaniels recently referred to Jim Zorn as coach of the Chargers. It’s an understandable mistake since Zorn has just as much say in both team’s offenses.

Eagles running back Brian Westbrook plans to visit two concussion specialists in Pittsburgh… or New York. Frankly he can’t remember which.

The Warriors are interested in trading Monta Ellis. Don Nelson is even willing to throw in a moped to sweeten the deal.

The Nets are now 0-11. Things haven’t been this bleak in New Jersey since, well, every day.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Major League Baseball has fined Jonathan Papelbon $5,000 for his slow play. It’s the second time the Red Sox have been penalized this season after one of Tim Wakefield’s fastballs was fined $10,000 for taking three days to reach home plate.

Dennis Rodman recently attended the wedding of Ricky Williams. And here’s the really embarrassing part: he was wearing the same dress as the bride.

Bruce Bowen has announced he’s retiring from the NBA. Fortunately for him, anyone that dirty should have no problem transitioning into politics.

Michael Vick amassed just 61 total yards in three quarters of action against the Jets. In his defense, it’s not easy running away from linebackers when you have an electronic bracelet on your ankle.

Many pundits are predicting that Michael Vick could soon replace Donovan McNabb, despite the fact Vick is two inches shorter and 25 pounds lighter than the Eagles starting QB. As they say, it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.

Curt Schilling has said he’s interested in the vacant Massachusetts senate seat once held by Edward M. Kennedy. Well sure, the empties under the seat are probably worth a small fortune.

Detroit Tigers broadcaster Ernie Harwell has been diagnosed with cancer. And here’s the real surprise; it wasn’t caused by watching the Tigers.

Veteran coach Lou Holtz has predicted Notre Dame will play in the BCS title game. Then again, Lou Holtz also predicted the South would win the Civil War.

The Nevada Supreme Court has denied O.J. Simpson's request to be let out of prison. What a shame. At the rate he’s going he’ll never be able to find his wife’s real killer.

Matthew Stafford has won the Lions' starting quarterback job. Sadly, it might be the only win he picks up all season.

The Rangers received some good news and bad news this week. The good news is slugger Josh Hamilton has received a second shot for the pinched nerve in his back. The bad news is it came from a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s.

Nationals top draft pick Stephen Strasburg has vowed to avoid drinking Cristal, hanging out at clubs and hooking up with random women. It kind of makes you wonder why he became a professional athlete in the first place.

Ask Ryan - Hot Off The Grill

Hi Gang,

Welcome back for another edition of Ask Ryan, the column where sports and entertainment collide like Lindsay Lohan into a Sunset Boulevard shrub. This week's mailbag is bursting at the seams with queries about Cy Young's legendary exploits, Jon Stewart's athletic prowess and the key to a great tailgaiting experience. Read all about it at: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/7084764