Friday, July 31, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

John Daly is getting his own reality show on The Golf Channel. It was either that or Animal Planet.

Joba Chamberlain struck out five batters in an electrifying win over the Tampa Bay Rays. It looks like the Yankees’ cheeseburgers for strikeouts policy is finally paying off.

Reggie Bush has broken up with Kim Kardashian due to her constant need to be in the spotlight. At least that’s what he said at her press conference.

Rodney King has expressed interest in participating in a celebrity boxing bout. If nothing else, he certainly knows how to take a punch.

Yankees pitcher Chien-Ming Wang is scheduled to undergo season-ending surgery on his right shoulder. As every man knows, there’s nothing worse than having a useless Wang.

Jessica Simpson plans to release a new fragrance inspired by Tony Romo. We didn’t realize you could capture disappointment in a bottle.

The Red Sox have fallen three and a half games behind the New York Yankees. Frankly, it’s hard to blame them for wanting to keep their distance from Alex Rodriguez.

Stephon Marbury has admitted that he recently saw Jesus in his shower. Frankly we’re not sure if he was referring to the Messiah or to his Mexican gardener.

The New York Yankees have gone 40-21 ever since Alex Rodriguez began dating Kate Hudson. Just imagine how unstoppable they could be if Joe Girardi hooked up with Goldie Hawn.

The Pirates have traded All-Star second baseman Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for yet another pitching prospect. For those of you keeping track at home, Pittsburgh now has more prospects than a hot chick at a Star Trek convention.

Tim Tebow recently told reporters that he’s a virgin. Apparently getting screwed by the BCS doesn’t count.

Stephon Marbury was recently spotted crying while listening to music on one of his webcasts. In his defense, the music WAS by Shaquille O’Neal.