Speculation on Sirius Satellite Radio

I recently had the pleasure of appearing on Speculation, a seriously hip call-in show hosted by fellow sports junkies Dave Golokhov and Matt Cauz. You can listen to my segment by clicking here. Simply follow the link to the archive section beneath the Speculation logo.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Golden State Warriors have acquired free agent Corey Maggette, signing away the Los Angeles Clippers' scoring leader. Of course, being the top scorer on the Clippers is a little bit like being the smartest woman on The View.

Former NFL special teams star Vai Sikahema knocked out Jose Canseco in their celebrity boxing match. We’d say he knocked him senseless, but we’re pretty sure that’s how he entered the ring.

The NHL is hoping to stage an open-air hockey game at the new Yankee Stadium. The highly anticipated event may even feature A-Rod, since he’s become a master at skating on thin ice.

Imprisoned quarterback Michael Vick has filed for bankruptcy protection while serving time for federal dogfighting charges. Ironically, his lack of funds means that he’ll now have to take the Greyhound everywhere he goes.

Kansas City tight end Tony Gonzalez recently saved a California man from choking. Now, if only he could do the same thing with the Chiefs.

Former NFL player Brian Bosworth recently rescued a Calgary woman from an auto accident. It seems only fitting that Boz was present since his entire career was a car wreck.

A professional soccer referee had to be helped off the field after showing up to work drunk. We had no idea that John Daly had gotten a summer job.

Cleveland lost their tenth game in a row after falling to Detroit. The Indians are doing so poorly this season they’re considering getting out of baseball altogether and opening a casino.

Imprisoned quarterback Michael Vick is currently busy writing his life story. In fact he’s already on chapter 11.

West Point grad Caleb Campbell is hoping to make the transition from the U.S. Army to the Detroit Lions this season. It should be a natural fit since neither organization has had a major victory in years.

The demolition of Tiger Stadium's walls and seating areas has begun. Construction workers were happy to report that the stadium fell apart almost as quickly as Detroit’s starting rotation.

New England Patriots running back Kevin Faulk has pleaded no contest to drug charges after being caught with marijuana at a Li'l Wayne concert. It’s hard to say what’s more embarrassing: getting busted by the police or having the world know you’re a fan of Li’L Wayne.

The Yankees are reportedly interested in signing recently waived slugger Richie Sexson. Great, that’s just what they need, more players with Sexon the brain.

Question of the Week

Leslie, Vancouver, B.C.
Subj: Barry Bonds
I would love to see these so called superstars play under the same conditions that Hank Aaron played. Let’s see what they can do without science behind them.... not only performance-enhancing drugs but the type of equipment they played with.

You have a point, Leslie. In addition to playing with inferior equipment, Hank Aaron and his peers had to contend with grueling double headers, long bus rides and training tables that often featured little more than a package of salami and a loaf of Wonder Bread. Hall of Famer Cap Anson is one of many old timers to share your sentiment that the game has declined. "Baseball was a man's game in my day," he once lamented. "I'd like to see what today's boys would do against the likes of (Old Hoss) Radbourn, (Pud) Galvin, (Tim) Keefe and (John) Clarkson." I certainly share his sense of nostalgia for a time when baseball was a purer pursuit.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

A-Rod’s wife has filed for a divorce, claiming that Rodriguez has "abandoned” her. Now she knows how the Yankees feel every September.

The San Antonio Spurs have asked Manu Ginobili to not play in this summer’s Olympics. Coincidentally, so has the U.S. team.

The asterisk-branded ball that Barry Bonds hit for career homer No. 756 will be headed to the Hall of Fame after all. Bonds’ head must be swelling with pride… or steroids, one or the other.

John Daly wowed a crowd at the Buick Pro-Am by hitting a golf ball off of an empty beer can. If there’s one thing Daly knows how to do, it’s drink and drive. The only thing that would have wowed the crowd more is if Daly had left a beer can unopened.

Georgia's bulldog mascot, Uga VI, was buried today at Sanford Stadium after passing away over the weekend. The death came as a surprise since the Bulldogs generally don’t collapse until much later in the season.

Fox will ask every player, manager and coach in the MLB All-Star Game to wear a microphone, which is a wonderful idea… if you speak Spanish.

U.S. Basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski insists this year’s Olympians are not going to Beijing “to sell shoes.” Indeed, they’re going there to visit the five-year-olds who make their shoes.

George W. Bush has announced he will attend the opening ceremonies of the Olympics in Beijing. The President should be right at home in the city since he’s used to being in a constant haze.

Rotund Celtics forward Glen “Big Baby” Davis was recently spotted in the Bahamas... all the way from Florida.

The Harlem Globetrotters selected Patrick Ewing, Jr. as the top pick in the team's annual draft. The Georgetown product was selected just ahead of a basketball on a string and a bucketful of confetti.

Good news and bad news for Notre Dame football boosters. The good news is coach Charlie Weis is privately projecting anywhere from nine to 12 victories for his team this year. The bas news is he’s also projecting a 100-game schedule.

The Kansas City Chiefs have released a fan code of conduct stating that standing and/or obstructing the view of other fans is not allowed at Arrowhead Stadium. Luckily that shouldn’t be a problem since the Chiefs rarely gives their fans any reason to stand up and cheer.

Question of the Week

Robert, Charleston, S.C.
Subj: Chasing the dream
Hey Ryan, my nephew is a phenomenal high school football player with dreams of playing in the NFL. What are the odds he’ll actually make it into the league?

I’m afraid they’re not good, Robert. Of the 100,000 high school seniors who play football every year, only 215 will ever make an NFL roster. That’s just 0.2%. Even of the 9,000 players that make it to the college level only 310 are invited to the annual NFL scouting combine. By comparison, your nephew has a better chance of being hit by lightning ( 1 in 3,000) or being injured by a toilet seat (1 in 6,500). Make sure to let him down softly when you break the news... and whatever you do, make sure you don’t do it in the middle of a lightning storm.

Taling Points - A-Rod's A-List Affair

Welcome back for another edition of Talking Points, a handy cheat sheet designed to help you hold your own in any water cooler discussion. In this week’s column, I'll examine A-Rod’s A-list affair, Warren Sapp’s dancing ambitions and Baron Davis’ happy homecoming. Read all about it here.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Green Bay Packers are crying poor after clearing just $21 million last season. Things are so dire, they might have to start eating those giant cheese heads.

San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan recently visited military personnel serving in Kabul, Afghanistan. It was a natural setting for Nolan since he’s used to coming under heavy fire.

Pacman Jones has informed the media that he no longer wants to be referred to by his nickname. Instead, he will answer to "Adam," "Mr. Jones," or "Prisoner No. 345279.”

A horse trained by Rick Dutrow has tested positive for twice the allowable level of Clenbuterol, a bronchodilator that helps burn fat and promote muscle growth. Why do horses know about this drug and John Daly doesn’t?

A photo taken during the early stages of the Belmont Stakes shows that Big Brown was running with a loose shoe. Given his poor finish it must have been a stiletto.

The Toronto Raptors have agreed to trade T.J. Ford to the Indiana Pacers for Jermaine O’Neal. The deal will also include center Rasho Nesterovic, a first round draft pick and 3,000 pages of medical documentation.

John Daly and Kid Rock teamed up yesterday at the Buick Open pro-am. It’s unclear who was left in charge of the trailer park while they were out.

China's top backstroker Ouyang Kunpeng has been banned for life for failing a doping test. Terms of the ban are so restrictive that Kunpeng won’t even be allowed to wash his face without permission.

Willie Randolph has been informed he’ll be replaced by Cubs manager Lou Piniella on the coaching staff for next month's All-Star game. And here’s a shocker, he was actually told about it during the daytime.

Warren Sapp says he plans to accept an offer to appear on Dancing with the Stars. Now it’s up to producers to find a woman with a 7’8” wingspan so she can wrap her arms around his waist.

David Beckham recently admitted on his blog that he's astonished by the reaction his new underwear ads for Emporio Armani are generating. "To be honest, I was amazed by the huge billboard poster outside Macy's department store, but even more amazed by the amount of people who turned up to see it!" he said. Frankly, we're just amazed that David Beckham knows how to write.