Monday, April 28, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

New Reports suggest that Roger Clemens had a decade-long relationship with country star Mindy McCready that began when she was 15-years-old. Something tells us that’s not what the Red Sox had in mind when they began their youth mentoring program.

An umpire who took a 96 mph fastball to the right side of his jaw was released from a hospital, hours after briefly losing consciousness. Authorities have since labeled the case assault by a battery.

The University at Buffalo’s top basketball player has been suspended indefinitely by the school for posting an ad on the Internet offering to pay someone to write a course paper. Come on, he’s an athlete; shouldn’t people be writing his papers for free?

Two jockeys have been inducted into the Horse Racing Hall of Fame. It’s one of the few places in the world where you actually have to be shorter than the Charley Brown cut-out in order to get in.

Golfer Colin Montgomerie married his longtime sweetheart over the weekend in what many pundits labeled the number one Scottish social event of the year. Sadly, the second most popular event involved a bottle of Scotch and a pair of sheep.

Jose Canseco spent more than three hours with federal agents yesterday discussing the alleged steroid use of Roger Clemens, Miguel Tejada and Alex Rodriquez. It’s believed to be the longest Canseco has ever gone without talking about himself.

A published report suggests that the Cubs may have thrown the 1918 World Series. Based on their performance ever since we’re guessing they probably threw it like a girl.

The Titans have finally traded Adam “Pacman” Jones him to the Cowboys. Dallas’s strippers are delighted with the news.

The Chicago Cubs defeated the Colorado Rockies to record their 10,000th win. Mind you, the Cubs are such losers they could win 10,000 games in a season and still finish a half game out of the playoffs.

North Carolina's Tyler Hansbrough has announced he will return for his senior year. A 6-foot-9 forward, Hansbrough last season averaged averaged 22.6 points, 10.2 rebounds and 3.4 blinks per game.

Nuggets coach George Karl is reportedly on the radar of Knicks president Donnie Walsh. Then again, at 250 lbs. Karl is on EVERYONE’S radar.