Question of the Week

Prince, Newark, NJ
Subj: NBA records
Who holds the NBA record for the highest scoring average in a single season?

That honor belongs to Wilt Chamberlain, who averaged 50.4 points per game for the Philadelphia Warriors during the 1961-1962 season. The Big Dipper was so dominant that year that he also led the league in minutes, field goals, free throws, rebounds and over-all player efficiency while becoming the first player in the history of professional basketball to score 100 points in a single game. Despite his brilliance, Wilt wasn’t even named the league’s MVP. That honor instead went to Celtics center Bill Russell who led Boston to their fourth consecutive championship while contributing a mere 16.9 points per game. Although the pair may have been intense rivals on the court they were best of friends off of it. Russell was especially saddened when Wilt passed away from congestive heart failure in 1999. "I feel unspeakably injured," Russell said at the time. "I've lost a dear and exceptional friend and an important part of my life. Our relationship was intensely personal. We had a genuinely fierce competition that was based on friendship and respect. We just loved playing against each other. The fierceness of the competition bonded us as friends for eternity."

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Winter Olympics have finally concluded. Americans can now return to ignoring alpine skiing and bobsledding for the next four years.

The Memphis Grizzlies plan to send Hasheem Thabeet to D-League. Mainly because there isn’t an F-League.

Ron Artest hopes to lose 20 pounds of what he calls “useless weight.” He could start by cutting off his head.

Chipper Jones has promised he will walk away from baseball if he has another disappointing season. Sadly, the Nationals have refused to agree to the same deal.

White Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks has stopped drinking alcohol. The veteran hurler should be especially effective now that he’ll only be seeing one catcher.

The NCAA has accused Michigan’s football program of five major infractions. Six if you count losing to Appalachian State.

The mascot for the Kansas City Royals has been accused of poking a fan's eye out with a hotdog. Wait a second, the Royals have fans?

The NFL has declined to punish Raiders coach Tom Cable. After all, coaching the Raiders is punishment enough.

John Daly is giving away a pair of his signed underwear. As an added bonus the garment can easily be converted into a 4-person tent.

The Clippers have confirmed they are keeping Drew Gooden. It’s still unclear whether this qualifies as a hostage situation.

Cardinals reliever Ryan Franklin is upset that Major League Baseball has decided to ban guns in its clubhouses. And Chris Carpenter is upset that he has to share a locker next to Ryan Franklin.

You've Got To Be Joking

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Tiger Woods has reportedly entered a sex rehab clinic in Arizona. He’s not addicted to sex; he just went to meet some women who are.

GM has decided to stop loaning Tiger Woods free Cadillac’s. On the positive side, he should be able to hitch a ride from any one of his 57 girlfriends.

Dwight Howard and LeBron James have decided to pull out of the Slam Dunk Contest. We’re amazed: We had no idea NBA players knew HOW to pull out.

Victoria Beckham has undergone breast reduction surgery. It sounds like David Beckham is back to being the biggest boob in the family.

Washington shot only 44 percent in a surprising loss to Detroit. It’s nice to hear the Wizards are shooting blanks for a change.

Nets forward Josh Boone says he would love to stay in New Jersey. Boone later retracted his statement after being informed there are 49 other states in the U.S.

The Baseball Hall of Fame has announced they’re keeping Mark McGwire’s bat in Cooperstown. That’s too bad: we were hoping they’d use it to beat some sense into Jose Canseco.

The Lakers have become the first NBA team to reach 3,000 wins. And to think, all it took was being in the same division as the Clippers.

Major League Baseball plans to discuss the expanded use of instant replay. The news is being celebrated by fans who have always felt baseball wasn’t quite slow enough.

The Florida Marlins are set to visit U.S. military troops in Iraq and Kuwait. It’s the perfect mission for a team that’s used to getting blown out.

You've Got To Be Joking

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Ricky Rubio is reportedly not interested in competing in Memphis. Luckily for him, nobody really does.

Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf has been indicted by a grand jury on drug and burglary charges. If he’s not careful he might just get signed by the Bengals.

The struggling Florida Marlins are reportedly open to making substantive changes. They might want to start by changing sports.

NBA sources have indicated that the Los Angeles Clippers are entertaining offers for the No. 1 pick. It’s believed to represent the first time in history the words “Clippers” and “entertaining” have ever been used in the same sentence.

Kobe Bryant reportedly took an IV and went straight to bed following game 3 against the Nuggets. Mind you, it’s Colorado, so we’re not entirely sure it was HIS bed.

The Lingerie Football League is scheduled to begin its first season in September. We’re sure it will still provide stimulus for plenty of packages around America.

The Washington Nationals accidentally sprayed fans with mangled meat chunks when they tried firing sausages wrapped in t-shirts from a small cannon. Other than that it’s been a dream season.

Marcus Camby has said he wants to remain a Clipper for life. In related news, Marcus Camby is scheduled to undergo a thorough cat scan at 3:30 this afternoon.

Volleyball superstar Kerri Walsh recently gave birth to an 8-pound, 10-ounce baby boy. Luckily, the child was whisked away immediately before she could spike his balls.

Andrew Bynum is reportedly furious that he isn’t getting more playing time. It’s nice to hear he isn’t hung up on trivial matters like, you know, actually winning.

Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey was recently treated in Las Vegas for dehydration. Evidentially whiskey doesn’t have quite as much water in it as you’d think.

You've Got To Be Joking

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President Barack Obama recently played a round of golf for the first time since taking office. It's nice to know that John McCain isn't the only white thing he's capable of knocking around.

Flip Saunders has received a four-year, $18 million contract with the Washington Wizards. $2 million is for coaching the team and $16 million is for dealing with Gilbert Arenas.

Commissioner Roger Goodell says Michael Vick has to show genuine regret in order to return to the NFL. In other words, he simply has to act like a Detroit Lions season ticket holder.

Majestic Athletic company has apologized for supplying Washington with jerseys reading "Natinals." On the positive side, the team can easily rectify the problem by borrowing a couple of o’s from their win column.

Phil Jackson has spliced clips of the movie Miracle at St. Anna into Lakers video sessions as part of his attempt to add a certain theme to every playoff series. Evidentially the theme of this year’s playoffs is horrible movies.

Former Jacksonville Jaguars star Jimmy Smith was arrested with crack cocaine and marijuana in his car. The 40-year-old vet played wide receiver for 10 seasons in the NFL, but is now expected to be just another tight end in prison.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. has said he doesn’t believe in Twitter or MySpace. That’s understandable since many of his fans also don’t believe in the Big Bang or evolution.

Thousands of grasshoppers recently descended on Chase Field, home of the Arizona Diamondbacks. Sadly, it’s one of the first times all season the stadium has actually looked full.

A 12-year-old girl from New Jersey recently threw a perfect game against a group of boys. Then again, it was the Nationals.

The Jacksonville Jaguars have introduced new team uniforms, because if you're going to lose 12 games you might as well look good doing it.

Alex Rodriguez has said he expects to see action next week. No word yet on whether it will be on a baseball diamond.

Question of the Week

John, Union, IA
Subj: That’s money, baby
Who has the distinction of signing the longest contract in NBA history?

That honors belongs to Magic Johnson who signed a 25 year, $25 million contract following the 1981 season. Although the salary was considered exorbitant at the time, it didn’t take long before lesser players were soon earning the same amount and Magic later restructured his deal to condense the final $21 million into seven years instead of 21.

Talking Points - Deja Vu All Over Again

Welcome back for another edition of Talking Points, a handy cheat sheet designed to help you hold your own in any water cooler discussion. In this week’s column, I’ll examine the heavily hyped NBA Finals, the beginning of a Motor City makeover and the remarkable rise of Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton. Read all about it here.

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Dodgers have placed center fielder Andruw Jones on the 15-day disabled list because of an injured right knee. The timing is especially unfortunate since Jones had finally gotten fat enough to patrol the entire outfield without actually moving.

Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester has revealed that his father has cancer, and unfortunately for the Lester family, it’s not the kind of cancer that helps you throw no-hitters.

Red Wings forward Johan Franzen has been cleared by doctors to play in Game 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals. The news comes as a surprise to many observers who didn’t realize that the NHL lockout was finally over.

Former Mets and Red Sox pitcher Geremi Gonzalez was killed after being hit by lightning. We always suspected God was a Yankees fan.

Derek Jeter was forced out of a game against the Baltimore Orioles after being hit on the hand by a pitch. X-rays were negative, just like everything else about the Yankees.

The Chicago Bulls defied the odds by winning the NBA draft lottery despite having just a 1.7 percent chance of landing the top choice. Incidentally, that’s also the same chance the New York Knicks now have of reaching the playoffs.

Mike Piazza has decided to retire from baseball after discussing his options with his wife, his family and his agent. No word yet on what his boyfriend had to say.

Jason Taylor is planning to boycott the Miami Dolphins’ training camp. The defensive end intends to stay away for as long as it takes until the team agrees to incorporate more ruffles in their uniforms.

Major League Baseball may experiment with instant replay during the Arizona Fall League. In related news, Major League Baseball may experiment with instant replay during the Arizona Fall League.

Reports have surfaced that Kobe Bryant is having an affair with former Lakers Girl Vanessa Curry. The news is hardly surprising. After all, if Bruce Bowen can’t stop him from scoring, what chance does Kobe’s wife have?

An Atlanta Braves fan has serious head injuries after falling from the stands at Turner Field. The man fell so quickly and dramatically that many people mistook him for the Mets.

Speaking Of Sports...

This week’s quote comes from Kobe Bryant, who donned a daring pair of retro short shorts in a tip off against the Boston Celtics. Take it away, Kobe!

"I don't know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half. I felt violated. I felt naked. It's one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. ... I'd rather stay warm, man."

Speaking Of Sports...

This week's quote comes from legendary Lakers pivot Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain. Take it away Big Dipper!

"They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds."